


You've got a friend in me

by CaptainLokii



Series: Love always comes with a price [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Disabled Character, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Leonard Snart is a Softie, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:58:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLokii/pseuds/CaptainLokii
Summary: Recovery is boosted by the support of your friends and family. It may take some time but god damn Cisco isn't going to let it beat him. He's got the love of his life by his side and the best friends in the world what more does he need?Len's new life is going great if it wasn't for his past haunting his every step. His fears from his past are getting to him and he's scared of them creeping out to hurt Barry. With a wedding to plan and a business to run can he deal with the horrors of his past?





	You've got a friend in me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a little filler fic to lead up to the next part that's coming which is the christmas and wedding chapter! Maybe with a few surprises thrown in a long the way ;) 
> 
> It wasn't meant to be for Harrisco fest but I missed the deadline by a couple days due to illness so apologies for that but better late than never?
> 
> also yes I continue to be a lame ass with naming things

Six months had passed since he was released from hospital and things were starting to move along. The therapist had agreed that he didn't need weekly sessions anymore and would settle for just monthly for now. Physio was going okay for the most part and he was starting to adapt to life without his hand or the ability to walk.

New problems had cropped up along the way since his release though. His hearing had been different since he woke up and initially he'd brushed it off as just because his brain was still recovering but after a few months of no change he'd brought it up with Harry who instantly dragged him to Caitlin to be examined. After testing him multiple times because of Harry's insistence she double check for anything serious it turned out he'd just got mild hearing loss probably caused by the build-up of pressure in his skull from the impact.

All in all, it wasn't the worst news he'd had since waking up. He could still hear fine it was just slightly quieter than before and understanding people in noisy environments was a challenge but Harry had helped design some hearing aids that helped the problem immensely.

Life with Harry was.... different. Neither of them had tried to push for their relationship to go further than just being closer. They knew they loved each other but didn't dare push it in case the other bolted. After night one of Harry holding him whilst he slept it had just become a normal routine.

He was there for him through every nightmare and didn't back away when he got angry if he couldn't do something first try. Instead he spoke to him softly until he calmed down and realised that this whole process was going to be a learning curve and things weren't just going to happen overnight.

He'd been angry for a long time after he got out. He blamed himself and everyone around him for what his life had become. Things had been thrown across the room and shattered to the ground or aimed at the person that was the target of his anger. At first the others feared being around him when he was so unpredictable because none of them wanted to set him off again. Harry was the one constant who wouldn't back away from his temper no matter how many cushions or cups he aimed at his head.

Eventually he got control of his anger and stopped taking it out on his friends because he could tell how much they cared about him. He'd never forget the look on their faces when they first saw him awake. He knew he had made a mistake jumping off that roof because he had hurt those he cared about.

They were his family and they loved him just as much as he loved them. Of course, telling himself that didn't stop his mind from convincing him otherwise.

Getting rid of suicidal thoughts was never going to be an instant cure and its gone forever. No, they were firmly implanted in his brain he'd just come up with other ways of dealing with them. Initially everyone had gone out of their way to make sure there were no sharp objects around that he could harm himself with but the more time passed the less worried they got and the easier it was to stash things away where they couldn't be found.

It's not like he'd used any of them yet, he just kept them hidden away in case the need arrived. He'd considered taking the blades to his skin on more than one occasion but he couldn't bring himself to do it again and instead would go find someone to distract himself with. He figured having the option made it less likely for him to cut unlike having no option which would bring on the urge more.

Now he genuinely wanted to make progress on getting back to a normal life. Well as normal as you can do when you and your friends have got super powers and you are in love with another man from a completely different universe.

~~

He'd been going to the lab most days with Harry but today was his first official day back at work. He had to admit he was more than a little nervous to the point he had his first panic attack in two weeks when they were making their way to the van that morning.

“Cisco? You don't have to go in if you aren't ready” Harry said kneeling down in front of his chair resting his hands on his knees. He tried to control his breathing

“No, I need to do this. I'm bored at home” he said gripping tightly to the joystick of his chair trying to get it together.

“You can come in and not work like you have before. If it's too much too soon don't force yourself.”

“No! We are going. I can do this, I have to” He took a deep breath in and relaxed all the muscles that were tensed up and wiped the tears on his cheek away. “I need to find a way to be useful again” Harry looked at him with a sad look before sighing and standing up to unlock the van door so he could get in.

“Suit yourself but if you change your mind we can go home any time.” he said in his usual pre-coffee gruff voice he always had first thing in the morning. Cisco had decided quick that this was his favourite version of Harry. The one with messy hair sticking up in every direction that could barely manage to keep his eyes open. The version of Harry that was softer and warmer than when he was fully awake and never tried to hide his affectionate side.

He wheeled his way up the ramp and clicked his wheels into the grips pulling the seat belt around him. Harry got in the front seat and turned on the engine “Onward noble steed!” he said in a mock British accent.

“If you want to make your own way you're more than welcome Ramon” he said fake glaring at him through the rear-view mirror. “Did you remember your extra blanket? Or your scarf?” he asked eyes softening.

“Yes, to the blanket no to the scarf its itchy and my hair gets tangled up in it” he said rolling his eyes at how fussy Harry could be.

“Messy hair is better than catching a cold. Snow told you to wrap up warm as you will get colder faster in your chair”

“I'll be fine”

“You might be but I'm the one that will get it in the neck for not 'taking care of you' when Snow finds out” he said grumpily

“Aww is Harry scared of sweet wittle Caitlin Snow? Aww” he said poking his tongue out at Harry's reflection.

“God damn it Ramon” he said starting the engine and pulling out the drive whilst Cisco smiled smugly to himself in the back seat.

~~

They got to the lab in just under half an hour thanks to the early morning traffic. He was glad that no one was waiting at the front entrance for them. He couldn't bear the thought of anyone making a fuss over him today. He just wanted to get in and get back to normal.

“You okay?” Harry asked as they made their way across the lot, shoes and wheels crunching on the gravel. He didn't reply just kept focused on the door ahead of them. He didn't break eye contact with the star labs insignia on the door until they opened to let them inside.

The air in the lab was warm and inviting but still filled him with trepidation as he turned the corner leading to the cortex. They were just a metre from the entrance way when he stopped and reversed a little. Harry stopped a few feet ahead and turned to look at him “are you doing okay?”

he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded “yeah I'm doing okay. Just need a minute” Harry leant against the wall with folded arms letting him pull himself back together. “Okay” he said, “let’s do this” he pushed the joystick forward and turned into the cortex to be greeted by the sight of what looked like a tornado of paper work and speedsters whilst Caitlin stood hands on hips glaring at the destruction.

Harry coughed to get their attention “What the hell did we miss?” Barry and Wally slowed to a stop and looked at them sheepishly.

“It seems the fate of our city is in the hands of two big kids” Caitlin said giving the pair an annoyed glance making them both shuffle their feet guiltily.

“Old news. Why are they destroying the lab?” Harry asked

“Because Wally ate the last slice of cake” Barry yelled shoving his brother lightly

“Hey! I didn't know it was yours!” he said shoving back

“It was in MY bag with MY name on it.” they were turned glaring at each other again.

“Well it's not my fault it smelled so good! It's not like Len can't make you another one!”

“Not the point Wally! God you're such a brat” he said lunging for him again which Wally skilfully dodging his grasp and taking off into another tornado.

“Oh, for god’s sake! Really?” Caitlin yelled at the pair clearly not even close to as amused by their antics as Cisco was. He couldn't help but snicker at them which he tried and failed to muffle with his glove earning a glare off Caitlin in return “Don't you encourage them! They've been at this for an hour already!” which just made Cisco laugh more.

The tornado of speedsters spun around the room making his hair fly around his face probably messing it up beyond belief. Eventually Barry caught Wally and wrestled him to the floor both now laughing as they rolled around pulling at each other’s clothes and hair. Harry stared at the display and just turned around muttering the need for coffee as it was too early for this shit as he left.

He wheeled himself further into the room so he had a better view of his idiot friends and removed his glove to fire a small blast of vibration to knock them apart. His control over his powers had diminished somewhat since his fall and despite his long hours of practice he accidentally fired to strong a blast sending them ricocheting to opposite ends of the cortex. “Oops” he said not entirely sorry at the stunned look on both their faces “Didn't mean to be that strong....”

Now the room was calmer Caitlin removed her hands from where Cisco was beginning to thing they had been glued and walked over to hug him “It's good to see you Cisco” she said smiling warmly “It will be nice having someone slightly more grown up to talk to again” she through a mock angry glare over her shoulder at the pair unsteadily getting to their feet.

“It's good to be back Cait” he replied trying to brush his hair out of his eyes with one hand. He looked at the mess now in the room “Yeah as much as I love you guys I am NOT clearing this mess up. Look” he faked coughed “I'm sick” he coughed some more “oh woe is me I can't do any tidying anymore! I guess I will just have to go pester Harry instead” he said quickly driving out the room to the shouts of “traitor” and “Judas” from Barry and Wally.

He followed the smell of roasted coffee beans into the lab he shared with Harry and found him sitting half asleep inhaling the fumes from his mug. “Hey there Mr Grumpy-pants, What'ya doing?” he asked making Harry jump slightly.

“Coffee” he said taking a long sip from his mug “Need coffee” after the second sip he managed to crack an eye open and look at him “Have they stopped being so loud yet?”

“Well if by stopped being so loud you meant have they stopped creating their own natural disaster then the answer is yes! But if you mean have they stopped making lots of noise then I think you may have had your brain swapped with that of an idiot because when the fuck as any one of us ever managed to do anything quietly in our lives?” he said laughing slightly as Harry's face fell.

“Point taken” he groaned.

“You going to hide out in here all day or do you have plans?” he asked making Harry pick up a stack of blue prints from the desk beside him.

“Hide.” he said taking another sip of coffee and sighing happily into the mug.

“So, I was thinking.... maybe you'd like to watch a movie with me sometime?” he asked feeling his cheeks heat up slightly. Harry raised an eyebrow

“We watch movies most nights?” Cisco rolled his eyes of course Harry would be too dense to get what he meant.

“No, I meant like.... a date.... that kind of thing....” he said, suddenly really glad his tan skin made his blushing not as visible as it felt. “If you'd like that is”

“A date?”

“Yeah...”

“You want to go on a date with me?” Harry asked.

“I think we've established that already. Yes, I want to go on a date with you”

“Are you sure?”

“Duh!”

“I'd like that” he said smiling down at him with sleep weary eyes that made his heart flutter.

“Me too. It's a date then. Shall we get take out as well? Joe mentioned this new Sushi place that delivers that I need to try!”

“Anything you want Cisco” Harry said smiling brighter now the coffee was setting in.

Cisco looked up at the man he loved and wondered why he had waited so long to ask him out. He knew Harry loved him in return now and yet they hadn't so much as kissed since they moved in together. Looking at him now with his piercing eyes and soft pink lips he seriously wondered if he must've got more brain damage than they thought because he hadn't tried to kiss them yet. “Harry? Come here a second” he said gesturing for Harry to lean down closer. Ever on edge he did so slowly never breaking eye contact with him for a second.

He took the opportunity to brush his knuckles along the older man's stubble covered cheek. He leaned up as far as he could trying to convey his next move through eye contact and pressed their lips together lightly. Harry's lips were as soft as he'd imagined them to be and tasted faintly of the coffee he'd just drunk. He doesn't try and deepen the kiss, not now, this kiss was about affection and love not heat and desire.

Eventually their lips part and he pulls back not letting his hand drift from Harry's cheek. He looks up at him through his eyelashes and sees that his eyes are still firmly closed and his lips still parted slightly. “Did I over step?” he asked cautiously, waiting for Harry to respond. This time it was Harry's turn to blush a deep pink.

“We sleep in the same bed. I don't think you could over step any more Ramon.” He said leaning back in and lifting his chin so he could plant a slightly firmer kiss on his lips. “I've wanted to kiss you for a long time. I just didn't know if you were ready to move things forward yet”

Cisco could feel his heart swelling from the love he felt for this man “Well aren't you a gentleman” he teased.

“Don't act so surprised! I may be a grumpy old man but I can still care about people” he said putting his hands on his head to fluff up his hair in revenge. Cisco laughed and swatted at him playfully.

“Come onnnn! The idiot twins already messed it up once already today! It's hard enough having to brush it once a day with one arm this will be the third time!” he whined making Harry roll his eyes again and walk back out to the cortex yelling over his shoulder that he'd order dinner for eight and he got to pick the movie. Cisco followed him ready to argue about his taste in movies being far superior to anything Harrison Wells could pick out.

~~

The first day back had been uneventful as things go. Barry and Wally had chased down some would be car thieves and a shop lifter or two but it was all low key compared to what they usually dealt with.

He'd spent the day working on updating the labs security system as he still felt an unease about being in the building since Dante got in. He had to make sure there was a system in place that could stop all Meta abilities that weren't their own from working in the building. He was certain he had a rough plan going for a system that would work he just needed to build the sensors to be placed around the grounds that would great a force field of sorts to protect the building. He'd of course need to collect DNA samples from everyone who worked there to program in their specific meta genetic code to be added to the exceptions list. Previously it would take him a day or two to build the whole thing max but with one hand it was going to take at least a week seeing as Harry had made himself scarce long before their work day was normally over.

Seven O'clock rolls around and everyone is packing up to go home and he still can't find Harry. He'd even gone outside to see if he was there but even the van was gone. He wheeled himself back into the cortex to ask the others. “Hey, has anyone seen Harry? He's taken the van but we had plans for in an hour”

Caitlin shook her head “No I thought he was with you still. Last I saw of him he was on the phone to someone and then started heading back to your lab.” as if on cue theirs a cough from behind him. He wheels around expecting to see Harry but is greeted with the sight of Leonard Snart. Barry excitedly jogs over to him throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him into a deep kiss.

“Hey Bear. Your dad called and asked if I could take Cisco home in my car. Something about having to run an errand with Harry? So, I thought I'd drive my beautiful husband home as well rather than you running in the rain.” he said slipping his arm around Barry's waist and hugging him close.

Cisco starred at the pair “Okay first........How the fuck did you get in without setting off any of the alarms? Second why are Harry and Joe running errands together? We have a date in like an hour...” he poked at the computer a bit checking the alarms were all working properly “Seriously how did you manage that?”

Len smiled guiltily “I may have gone straight” Cisco snorted at his choice of wording “Okay I may not be a criminal any more but I've still got to have a little fun with my skill set! Oh, and Joe said Harry said that he will be home by eight and not to worry. Just get comfy and pick a movie or something.”

Cisco starred at Len with narrowed eyes. What was Harry planning now? He wasn't one to sneak off without telling anyone. Hell, he hadn't gone anywhere without him apart from work since they left the hospital. With Len just gazing adoringly at Barry it seemed he was none the wiser as to what was going on either. “Okay....third...how am I even going to get in your car? It’s not adapted for wheelchairs.”

Len just waved his hand at him “Got in covered. Borrowed Mick's truck. We can help you into the front seat and put your chair in the truck bed. Easy as pie”. Huh, So Harry had thought of literally everything. He wasn't sure whether to be nervous or excited about all this scheming. “Come on Mr Allen, Mr Ramon, your chariot awaits” he said leading Barry out arm and arm. He quickly nabbed his bag off the desk and followed them outside.

When he got outside he realised the first problem they would face. Mick Rory's truck was fucking huge. Like the wheel is bigger than him kind of huge. “How the fuck am I supposed to get into that thing.... it’s practically a monster truck...”

“Don't worry about it. As long as you don't mind assistance we can do this easy” Len said opening the door wide. “Right if you wheel yourself as close to the side as you can. Barry, you go around the other side and get in the front. Cisco if it’s okay with you I will lift you up on to the seat and Barry will help you get more comfortable” Over the past few months Cisco had grown to like Len a hell of a lot more than he ever thought he could for a man that's tried to kill him more than once. He was the only person that bothered asking if he wanted help before doing things for him. The others meant well but it did feel a little like he was being babied when he wasn't able to do things for himself. Also, he baked really fucking delicious cakes and other sweet treats for the team most days. Even Harry “Actual human skeleton” Wells had gained a few pounds after trying his bakes.

“Thanks dude.” he said wheeling his chair so he was in line with the seat. Barry was already on the other side waiting to grab hold of him.

“Right you put your arm round my neck and hold on okay?” Len put one arm under his legs and the other supported his back and with very little effort he lifted him out of the chair whilst also nudging the chair out of his way so he could get close enough to put him on the car seat. He gently put him down and Barry helped swing his legs into a more comfortable position “You good?” Len asked passing the seat belt to Barry to click in.

“Yeah can you just pass me the blanket off the back of the chair? Getting a bit on the chilly side now” Len passed it up to him and he wrapped it around himself tightly.

Barry climbed through into the back of the car whilst Len put his chair in the truck bed then climbed in beside him and started the engine “Right. Your place first then Barry I've got a little surprise for you at home too”

Barry instantly started pestering Len with questions about what the surprise could be but Len wasn't giving away any clues. They pulled up the drive to his and Harry's place when he finally ran out of questions to ask. “Aw come on Lenny don't tease me like this! It's cruel!” he said giving him sad puppy eyes through the mirror.

“It wouldn't be a surprise any more if I told you, now would it? Now go get the chair out the truck and learn to be patient” Barry poked his tongue out at Len but hopped out and did as he was asked all the same.

Getting out of the giant truck was a far more difficult procedure than getting into it as there was much less space to work with. He probably going to have a few bruises later after he hit his leg, shoulder and head on parts of the car on the way out. Len apologised through a string of swear words every time he accidentally bumped him into something. Eventually he was back in his chair and relatively unhurt considering.

“Thanks guys! You enjoy your night! Leonard Snart don't you break him to badly we might need him to save the world again tomorrow!” he said waving to them as they pulled at the drive.

Len saluted him as Barry shrieked and burned bright red yelling out the window “Cisco!! Shut up!” but before he could reply they were out of ear shot.

He punched the code into the door lock and wheeled himself inside. The lights were still all off so Harry hadn't made it home yet. He checks his watch and sees its almost eight already. Where on earth was he? He sighed and dropped his bag by the door and went into his room to change into something comfier.

After about fifteen minutes of struggling to get a pair of sweat pants on he slipped on an old t-shirt and went to get some drinks ready for if Harry decided to show up. He put an ice coffee out for Harry and a glass of apple juice for him along with a bowl of M&M's for snacks. He looked at his watch again and sees its now half eight when he finally sees the headlights of the van pulling in to the drive.

The engine went off and Harry came bustling into the house dropping some bags on the coffee table “Sorry, sorry! I got delayed. Needed to get something for tonight” he said pushing his hair out of his eyes.

Cisco looked at the pile of bags he'd come in with “That's an awful lot of bags for 'something' you got there.” he tried to swipe one of the bags but wasn't quick enough and Harry got there first.

“Ah! No, you don't! Some of this is for now some of this is a surprise for later. Now go get comfy like I told you whilst I put dinner out.” he said waving the bag that had a lovely aroma coming from it. He gave Harry one last suspicious glance before going back into the living area and hauled himself on to the sofa taking a second to rearrange the cushions so he could sit comfortably.

A few minutes later Harry returned with a tray loaded up with bowls of sushi and a lit candle “Well Mr Wells I never took you for such a romantic!” he teased as Harry arranged the spread across the coffee table.

“If you are going to mock me then you don't get your surprise later” he retorted. Now he may be a grown man but at heart he will forever remain a big kid who loves surprises so he mimed zipping his mouth shut and throwing away the key “That's better. Now what movie did you pick?” He mimed trying to speak with a zipped shut mouth making Harry roll his eyes and mime unzipping his mouth for him “Ass”

“My ass is fabulous thank you very much” Harry flicked a sushi roll at him.

“Do you want to watch a movie or not?” he asked waving the remote in his face so he could grab it and flick through the options.

“So, are you a Lord of the Rings kind of guy? Or are we going to have to end this date right here and banish you from this earth for all eternity?” he said looking at Harry with as much seriousness as he could muster.

“You think so little of me Cisco? I'm offended, Now, put the damn film on.” Cisco laughed and pressed play. Harry handed him a plate of sushi as the opening sequence started to play

Halfway through the film and three quarters of the way through the sushi Harry speaks up “The cinematography of this film remains a work of art know matter which earths version I see” he said and Cisco nodded in agreement with a mouth full of sushi and rice.

“Yeah it's the only film series that can compare to the original source material. Man, I've watched these films more times than I can count. Teenage me had such a thing for Aragorn”

“Adult me still does”

“You just have a thing for pretty faces with long hair! Admit it!” Cisco teased

“Not that I'm comparing you in any way to Aragorn I will agree with your statement as you are both exceptionally pretty. Mind, he isn't a patch on your beauty” Cisco could feel his cheeks burning red and he found himself speechless. They teased each other often and made fun of each other and told each other they loved them but never had Harry been so forward about his attraction to him.

“I... um.” he stuttered

“Too forward?” Harry asked

“no! It's just...I don't know how to reply to that? No one has called me beautiful before...” he said blushing further. Ever the gladder he had decided to keep the lights off for movie night.

Harry looked at him like he'd just been slapped “Seriously? Nobody? I know I've only been on this earth a few years but I thought I knew all the customs by now....is it not normal to tell the person they love that they're beautiful?”

“No, it's not that. Telling someone something like that is perfectly fine it’s just.... there hasn't been anybody else to call me that...there was a guy in college but it never really went anywhere by a few dates and lots of drinking...I don't know how any of this is supposed to work.... dating.... any of it”

Harry's attention was now fully off the movie and focused entirely on him “None of your previous relationship partners have told you how beautiful you are? Were they mad?” there was an angry hint to his tone.

“There haven't been any previous relationships Harry....not really....” god why was he so embarrassed to be telling Harry this? He was the least likely person to laugh at him or mock him. He could trust Harry with anything so why were his cheeks burning hotter than the sun?

Harry looked at him as if searching for the answer to an unasked question. He could guess what the question was but he hoped he didn't have to answer it out loud. “Cisco...”

“It's okay. If you want to end the date now you can. I won't be offended I get it I really do.” He could feel a range of emotions beginning to flood into his mind. He felt angry and heartbroken but also sad and pathetic. He was in his mid-twenties he knew he was the odd one out but he had his reasons.

“Don't even try it Cisco that's not what I wanted to say” Harry said reaching out to take his hand in his.

He pulled it back like he'd been shocked “Then what is it? What do you want to know? How much of a freak I am? Because I thought we established that a long time ago when I couldn't even get killing myself right” He started to cry because the awful voice that plagued him all that time was whispering in his ear again. He tried to cover his face so Harry couldn't see him but it was too late.

“Hey now Cisco. Come here, it's okay.” He pulled him against his chest wrapping warm arms around him “Take deep breaths and listen to my voice. You aren't a freak it's just your depression talking and I know it's hard to fight it off but you can defeat it you are the strongest person I've ever met. And not a day goes by where I don't thank the world that you didn't succeed that day because you mean the world to me Cisco Ramon. I love you and I always will. All I wanted to ask is where you trying to tell me you're a virgin?”

Cisco felt ridiculous letting the voice get to him again. He'd thought he had been doing well but it always manages to crop up when it’s the worst possible moment. He leant in to Harry's chest accepting the comfort he found whenever he was in his arms. “I'm not.... You know that.... he...he took that from me....so many times...” he could feel the sobs starting to wrack his body again as the flashback of Dante pinning him to the desk hit him again. His breathing became unsteady and his head was pounding. He could hear Dante's grunts in his hear and Harry begging where he was tied up opposite. He could feel the burning sensation travelling through his backside and across his entire body. He wanted to scream but he couldn't no sound was coming out. He wanted to beg for Harry to save him but he was tied up on the other side of the room. He begged and pleaded with Dante to let him go but his thrusts just got harder and more painful the more he pleaded.

_“Cisco! Cisco look at me!”_ a voice.... Harry’s voice......but his lips aren't moving.

_“Cisco listen to my voice and focus on me”_ There it was again.

“Cisco!” the voice yelled louder snapping him back into the real world where he found himself laying on the floor. He could feel a sharp pain on the side of his face which left small spots of blood when he touched it with his hand. “Cisco look at me. Can you hear me?” Harry...

“Harry! Make him stop! Make him stop! It hurts so much! Please, I can't do this anymore, I can't!”

“Shhhh Cisco it's okay he's not here. It's a flashback he can't hurt you any more I promise you. Focus on my voice and your breathing. In and out, In and out, that's it keep going.” He tried keeping him with Harry's commands to breath and slowly the world came back in to focus and all but the pain on his face disappeared.

“Harry?” he asked reaching a hand out in to the dark to find some contact with him.

A hand reached out and gripped his own tightly “I'm hear Cisco like I promised. Are you okay with getting off the floor now or do you need to lay down some more? I can call Caitlin if you want but you need to let one of us look at the scratch you got on your face”

“No! No Caitlin! I don't want her seeing me like this! Not again......please.... can we just go lay in bed and cuddle? I really need a cuddle right now...”

Harry sighed “Fine no Caitlin but you let her check it in the morning okay? First thing when we get to the lab! Now do you want help getting in to your chair to go to bed or do you want me to just carry you? Either is fine it's just whatever is easier and more comfortable for you.”

“Please...I'm so tired...everything aches.” Harry used his free hand to brush some of his long hair out of his eye for him.

“Then let’s get you in to bed” he hooked one arm under his knees and one under his arm pit and carried him bridal style into their bedroom. He would always be amazed at the strength Harry had considering he was so naturally thin. He pushed the duvet back and placed him down as close to the middle of the bed as he could so it lessened the risk of him falling out if he had another nightmare.  
“Do you want an extra blanket or will the heating be enough?” he asked turning the dial up on the thermostat.

“I think the heating will be fine. Just want to rest” he said pulling the duvet up to his chin. Harry kicked of his shoes and socks and kicked them to the corner of the room and through his shirt and jeans over the back of the chair.

“Can I talk to you about something Cisco? Something about our conversation before? I don't want to upset you again so it's okay to say no.”

“Honestly I don't think I have the mental or physical energy left to have another episode so feel free” he said leaning in to the older man's chest when he climbed in the bed beside him.

“You know that Dante didn't take your virginity, right?” he knew Harry could feel him freeze at sound of his abuser’s name “He stole from you something that should never be stolen but it wasn't your virginity. That can only be given not taken. On my earth, we believe a person only loses their virginity when it is freely given to the person they love. That is something he can never take from you.” he explained whilst rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“It doesn't feel that way.... I feel used and disgusting...like there is an endless layer of filth on my skin that can't ever be washed away”

Harry planted a gentle kiss on his nose “One day when you are ready and only then. When you feel safe and secure whether that be with me or somebody else. I or they will make love to you and show you that losing your virginity and rape are in no way the same thing”

“I trust you and I feel safe with you because I love you but I don't feel like I will ever be ready to...you know...” he said feeling his cheeks heat up again.

“Then you don't have to, ever. Sex is about consent and if you aren't ready for it or feel that you can never have it then that is something I can happily live with. I could never do anything to you I wasn't certain you were okay with. I love you and respect you too much for that.”

“I can't ask you to remain celibate for me Harry....even my crazy ass has needs...”

“It's called masturbation Cisco. How else do you think I survived my awkward teenager years?”

“I figured you'd just been old your entire life” he said with a small smile

“Charming, but what I'm trying to say Cisco is that you don't even have to think about us having sex until you are ready and when that time comes we will take it at your pace and will stop the second you ask to. If you want to ask anything don't feel embarrassed to do so alright? I wouldn't call myself an expert but anything I can't answer we can research together.”

Cisco slid further down the bed so he could curl up against the older man's chest “Thank you for being patient with me. I know it must be frustrating a lot of the time”

“If you weren't being frustrating I would be worried there was something wrong” he joked tickling his back to make him giggle.

“Hey!” he squealed trying to fight off the tickles “Stoooop”

“Never!”

The tickle attack lasted a few minutes until Cisco yawned loudly “I'm sleepy” he whined as Harry stopped his motions and lay back on the bed beside him.

“Then go to sleep”

“Hold me?” Cisco asked in a quiet whisper.

“Always” he pulled the yawning man back against him and soon his breathing evened out into a slow pace letting Harry know he'd fallen into a thankfully peaceful sleep. “I love you Cisco Ramon” he whispered into his hair “I don't know what I did to deserve you but there’s nothing I wouldn't do to make you happy. Sleep well sweetheart” he kissed the top of his head and lay back against the pillow shutting his eyes falling into his own dreamless sleep.

~~

When they got into the lab the next morning the cortex was full of boxes some of which were giving of a smell that made Cisco's tummy growl. Barry was pulling things out of the boxes one by one and showing them to Iris and Caitlin who either nodded approvingly or shook their heads. “Hey guys what's all this in aid of? We can't be putting Christmas decorations up yet it’s still November”

Barry turned when he heard him call and jogged over to him holding out two separate pieces of cloth for him to look at. “Wedding planning! What do you think would go best for the napkins? The silver and blue or the silver and red?”

“Silver and red would be more fitting given yours and Len's alter egos and it just looks nicer”

“See that's what I told him” Iris exclaimed glaring at her brother “Boy's got no taste and won't listen to reason”

“Blue isn't really your colour Barry” Caitlin said smiling at him apologetically.

Harry was leaning against the door frame watching the team’s youngest members talk “I thought you weren't having a big wedding? Just a little celebration here?” he asked

“We are but I still want it to be special you know? I want to wear a nice suit and be walked down the aisle by Joe and have a meal with those closest to us afterwards. I want my best man to give a funny speech that will probably bring up every embarrassing moment I've ever had.”

Iris flung her arms around Barry with tears in her eyes “Aww I never took my little brother for being such a romantic!” she said making Barry blush and suddenly find a spot on the floor very interesting.

“Have you decided on a date yet?” Cisco asked wheeling over to look in some more of the boxes. Some were filled with fabric samples he guessed were for suits and bridesmaid dresses others were name cards for tables and invites.

“We know it's soppy but we were thinking valentine’s day?” the girls squealed and excitedly hugged him again asking a torrent of questions about what plans they had decided on so far and were they going on a honey moon.

“No there aren't any definite plans yet but we will go away eventually. The only things we have agreed upon are these” he said pulling three envelopes out one of the boxes. They were a pale gold with silver embossed writing that read their names of Caitlin, Iris and Cisco. Barry handed them out one by one. “Now I want you to open them one at a time starting with you Iris”

Iris looked at him confused but turned the envelope over so she could rip the paper open. She pulled out a small neat card of the same colouring as the outside it read:

__

_Miss Iris West_

_You are invited to take part in the wedding of Mr Barry Allen to Mr Leonard Snart as their Maid of Honour. Should you agree to take up this position please RSVP to the grooms listed above.  
_

“Oh Barry” she gasped tears ready to fall “You really want me to be your maid of honour?”

“There's no one else I would ever ask” Iris once again flung her arms round her brother’s neck bulling him into a tight hug and spinning him around.

“Then yes! Yes, I will be your maid of honour” she cheered

“Good because I have some ideas for an outfit I know you are going to love. Caitlin your turn” She suddenly looked nervous as the broad smile fell from her face as she turned her attention back to the envelope. She delicately opened the flap and pulled the card out.

_Caitlin Snow_

_You are invited to take part in the wedding of Mr Barry Allen to Mr Leonard Snart as joint Maid of Honour with Miss Irish West should she accept the role. Please RSVP to either of the grooms listed above._

__

Iris cheered again and flung herself on Caitlin and they both happily jumped in a circle laughing gleefully.

“Cisco” Barry said kneeling so they were on eye level “This one is for you”

“If you are asking me to be your maid of honour as well I have to tell you dresses aren't really my thing” he could hear Harry snicker behind him.

“No, yours is...different...just open it?”

Cisco took the card and was glad to see the envelope wasn't sealed at the back. He held it down with his teeth as he wiggled the card free letting the envelope fall to the floor afterwards. He turned the card over so he could see the writing. There was a lot more writing than had been on either of the other two cards.

__

_Cisco..._

_You are the best friend I have ever had. I have never been worthy of calling you that but I treasure every second I can. A few months ago, I nearly lost you and my world felt like it was falling apart. Seeing you hurt like that felt like I was being attacked by a dementor, like I couldn't be happy again. I never want to lose you Cisco and I never will. You are what keeps this team going even when life is at its darkest point. The world needs more Cisco Ramon's to keep on spinning. I know this won’t even come close to showing you how much you mean to me but it's a start._

_Cisco Ramon will you be my best man?_

_Love, Barry._

__

He sucked in a deep breath when he read the last part. Was this a trick? This had to be a trick? They were going to get him all excited and then reveal the joke and all join in laughing at him? no.... They wouldn't do that...He knows that now.... It’s just his depression playing tricks on him.... breathe out Cisco. Breathe out.... can’t.... why would Barry want him as best man? Why not Wally or Harry? There were so many better options than him... Was it pity? Pity for the one armed, mentally ill cripple? no....Barry wasn't like that either......It had to be SOMETHING he wouldn't want him as his best man, now would he? Breathe Cisco breathe! his lungs hurt.... his head is pounding...the lights in the room are going fussy....

“Cisco?” A voice says. He doesn't recognise it it's too distorted. “Cisco breathe out for me”

He can feel a breeze on his face, he's being moved. Where are they taking him? He can here the muffled rumble of his chairs motor turning over and people yelling in the background. He stops suddenly and there are arms on him everywhere. It feels like thousands and they lift him up closer to the bright yellow light above him and drop him back against something soft. Now there are shadows moving in and out of view and muffled voices talking amongst themselves. Something tight and plastic is put over his face and he tries to shrug it off.

“Stop fighting it! Cisco we're trying to help you” he doesn't want help. Help just brings him more pain and anguish. No, he wants to be free of it all.

“Cisco can you hear me? Come on Cisco don't do this to me” that voice......he knows that voice......that voice that makes his heart flutter.... who is it? He can't remember but he knows it's a good voice a trustworthy one. “Cisco, you need to breathe for me. I need you” It's that voice again....it feels more distant now.... the lights are getting dimmer to. He wants to reach out and embrace the warmth in the voice but every time it speaks its moved further out of reach.

“Cisco! ---need-----i----” the voice isn't coming through properly now. He wants to run towards it as fast as he can but he can't. He's tired now. Very tired.

“Give ---- 150----of----quick” a different voice.... still muffled and stuttered like coming through an ancient radio. A cold feeling washes over his whole body starting from his right arm and spreading out fast. Suddenly it feels like he's being ripped from whatever world he was just in to the real world and he jolts up from the bed gasping for breath. Harry, Caitlin, Barry and Iris are all standing around the bed looking panicked. His chest aches painfully as he tries to breathe at a normal pace.

“He's back with us!” Caitlin called over her shoulder at the others as she shined a light in his eyes and checked his pulse “obs are going back to normal now. You are a lucky man Cisco Ramon”

“The fuck just happened to me?” he rasped, his throat feeling like sandpaper had been dragged along it.  
“Well I can't be certain until I run more tests but I think what happened is when you panicked you accidentally vibed internally causing your heart to backfire momentarily putting it out of rhythm causing your lungs to shut down momentarily. Or more simply, you stopped breathing.”

“Why did I panic?” he asked confused. The last thing he could remember now was the drive into the lab that morning. He'd been pestering Harry by singing the sound track to nightmare before Christmas at full volume.

“It's my fault. I shouldn't have sprung something like that on you” Barry said sheepishly

“What did you do jump out of a box on me or something?” he asked suspiciously.

“No... I asked you to be my best man....”

“oh” now he remembered “Are you sure you want me to be your best man? What about Wally or Joe? They're much better candidates than me...”

“Joe is giving me away and Wally may be my brother but he isn't my best friend. That's you and I can't imagine getting married without you there. If you don't want to do it that's fine and the post can remain empty in case you change your mind but I'd really appreciate you being there”

Cisco sighed. Maybe Barry was being sincere about this? After all what need did he have to trick him? Especially after he just almost accidentally killed himself. “Okay, fine. I'd love to be your best man Barry. Prepare for the most embarrassing speech you've ever heard”

Barry cheered and clapped him on the back making him cough “Yes! I knew I could count on you!”

“Oh man do I have some stories for your future hubby to hear” he laughed making his chest ache.

“Oh god. I've unleashed a monster, haven't I?”

“You don't even know the half of it Barry”

~~

It took a couple of hours but in the end Cisco managed to persuade Caitlin to let him go back home as he wasn't in any danger of harming himself willingly. The team had spent the rest of the day discussing wedding plans.

**

Iris and Caitlin were pestering Barry about when they were going to get their bridesmaid dresses when Len showed up with bits of flour still streaked across his cheek and hair. He leant against the door watching Barry and his friends excitedly going through box upon box of wedding things. His heart felt like it could burst if he stared any longer at the beaming smile on his fiancés face.

He slowly stepped into the room till one by one the others noticed his presence. Barry ever the observant one was the last to notice there was an extra person in the room. When he finally did look up Len got a proper look at the ribbon Iris and forced into his hair after threatening to make her wear a frilly yellow dress with giant pink polka dots and he burst out laughing. The others joined in laughing at him to and Barry glared and fumbled to get the ribbon from his hair but ended up tying it in more of a knot than it was already in.

“Now Bear have you learnt nothing? Never piss off your sister or you will live to regret it. Girls are the most frightening when they're angry at their brothers” he teased helping him untangle the knot he'd created.

“Finally, a man who gets it” Iris snickered from behind “Maybe this one will keep you from getting your ass kicked so often Bar” Barry poked his tongue out at his sister of Len's shoulder earning an equally silly face from Iris in return.

“Cisco, I think we might need to put this one in that pipeline of yours before he gets himself in too much trouble with the lovely Iris here” Len said grinning at Barry who glared at him

“Are you siding with her? She put a bow in my hair! Over a joke!”

“Yep, no I don't think the pipeline can save his ass this time. I think it's best we run away whilst we still can.... or …...wheel away in my case......Tally Ho!” Cisco yelled speeding out the door in the direction of his lab.

“So, did you give out the invites?” he asked still slightly bemused by Cisco's sense of humour.

“Most of them. Still have to give Joe and Wally there's as well as Harry who has hid himself away in the lab most of the day since the incident this morning.”

“Incident?”

“Cisco.”

“Is fine? We just saw him...”

“He vibed internally and almost killed himself by stopping his own heart and fucking up his lungs”

“Shit....then how is he wheeling around and chatting like normal right now?”

“There wasn't any permanent damage but he still has to be sore and tired. I think he's just trying to put on a brave face. He will be okay though. He's got Harry to look after him at home.”

“Well...that's good I guess? Now if you ladies don't mind can I steal my fiancé away. I have a surprise for him” he asked winking at Barry

“Taking him! He's got bad taste so it's best you leave the rest of this to us” Iris teased poking Barry in the side.

“Thanks! You ready Barry?” he asked and Barry hoisted his bag on his shoulder and took his hand “Goodnight ladies”

“Night boys” they both called after them as they exited the lab.

“So, what's the surprise?” Barry asked bouncing on his heel like a child at Christmas

“If I told you that it wouldn't be a surprise any more, now would it?”

“Aww come on Lenny not even a little hint?” Barry whined.

“It's nothing major.... I just thought it would be nice......a stay at home date of sorts.... just us, together.”

“oooh, that explains the flour!”

Len looked at him confused “What flower?”

“the stuff all over your face doofus” Barry teased wiping it off his cheek.

“Oh, I thought you meant like the plant. Yes, that explains the flour I've got the food keeping warm in the oven at home”

“Is it another of your grandmother’s recipes? You know they are always my favourite”

“How could I forget Bear? You know I think she'd have loved you. She always loved anyone who appreciated her cooking and you are just too darn cute.”

“I would have loved to have met her. She sounds like a remarkable woman” Barry shifted in his seat so he could face Len “Also I'd like to thank her”

Len flicked his eyes off the road for a second to raise an eyebrow at Barry “Thank her? For what?”

“Well if her amazing recipes weren't enough I'd like to thank her for raising you. She is the reason you aren't like the other bad guys I've fought because deep down you weren't bad. You were doing what you had to do to survive because that's all you knew how to do after your dad took you. But your compassion and your kindness and everything that makes you the sweet man I fell in love with? That comes from her. So that's why I want to thank her” Barry bit his lip waiting for Lens reaction to what he'd said. He worried he'd stepped too far with mentioning his dad when he knew it was a subject that still really bothered Len.

His eyes were focused on the road staring as if waiting for it to suddenly change direction or jump up. His mouth was a thin line and his expression was forcibly almost blank. “I'm sorry Len I shouldn't have mentioned you.... him” They continued driving in an awkward silence till they reached the driveway of their house. Len put the car in park and turned the engine off but made no effort to get out the car. His hands were still fixed firmly on the wheel in front of him and his eyes on the wall outside.

Barry was starting to feel a little concerned “Lenny? You in there? I said I was sorry...”

“Barry” Len choked out a single tear breaking free and rolling down his cheek. “Barry...I...”

Barry undid his seatbelt and knelt on his chair so he could wipe the tears from Lens cheeks with gloved hands “Hey now Lenny, why the tears?”

Len pressed his head against Barry's chest so he could hold him “Do you really think that about me? “he asked

“Yes” Barry said without questioning his answer as he was certain that was the most honest answer he was ever going to be able to give to any question he was asked.

“But why? I've hurt people...I've killed people...my own father.... I lied and stole and cheated for a living how can you say I'm not bad? I've hurt you so many times. How can you be so sure I'm not going to hurt you again?”

Barry lifted Len's head up so he could look him square in the eyes “Hurt me then”

“What?” Len gasped

“Hurt me. Punch me, kick me, stab me do whatever you want. Just hurt me. Go on” he said spreading his arms out so Len had full access to his body to hurt him where he pleased.

“No! Barry! What the hell? I love you!”

“But that's my point! You can't hurt me now because now you have a choice, before you didn't. Before you were doing what, you needed to stay alive but now you have a home and a job and a life outside of your criminal past. That man that hurt people isn't you any more Lenny. That man is gone forever, he's dead. You are a whole new person. The person you were born to be Leonard Snart. A person your grandmother would be incredibly proud of and a person I couldn't be more in love with if I tried”

“But how can you be so sure?”

“Because I have faith in you Lenny.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you Leonard Snart. I love you when you steal all the covers at night even though you claim to love the cold. I love you and your obsession with gardening that ends in trekking mud all through the house that I end up having to clean. I love you when you try and hide the fact you are a massive softy who likes cuddles and cute things just as much if not more than I do. I even love you when you sulk because it's to sunny outside.”

“I don't sulk....”

“You sat on the stairs in the dark pouting at the light being cast on the ground by the window on the front door”

“It was too hot!”

“Sulking”

“was not”

“was too”

“was not!”

“Race you to the front door and the loser is the one who sulks? 3...2.... 1....GO!” and in a blink Barry was standing on the porch cheering and waving his arms at Len in the car making the L sign on his forehead. Len really wondered how he fell for such a man-baby sometimes.

Len trudged up the path after Barry. “Cheater”

~~

They ate the meal together which consisted of a seafood soup starter, a casserole main and the most amazingly chocolatey pie Barry had ever tasted in his life. So much so that he informed Len much to his amusement that the pie alone could probably give him multiple orgasms.

By the time they finished eating both men had undone the top button of their trousers as they were so full. “I'm dying Lenny. That's it, you've killed me.”

“Drama queen” Len snorted “Right I should get on the washing up before we pass out into a food coma” he said looking at the pile of pots, pans and plates littering the work surfaces.

“Leave it” Barry whined scooting out of his chair to grab Len's hand “Come with me” he said tugging at him.

“Bear we can't leave this much stuff out. We'll get ants or rats or god knows what other creepy critters crawl around in the dark” Len said even though Barry continued to tug his arm to little effect.

“ugh fine” he said dropping his arm “give me three seconds tops” then a flurry of light filled the room and Barry was back tugging at Len's hand in a now spotless kitchen “Come with me now?”

Len stared in awe of how quickly Barry had cleaned everything up. Even for the flash it was one hell of a feat given just how much crockery was used. “...yeah......yeah...let's go” this time when Barry tugged on his arm he let himself be dragged to his feet and led down the hall and up the stairs to their bedroom.

“I want to make love to you Lenny. I want to hold you and be as close to you as it will ever be possible to be.” Barry said sneaking a hand under his shirt and running his hand across the older man's chest. “I want to show you that you can let go and just be you around me. I know there’s more to you than that gruff persona you try and hide behind. I've seen the real you more than once and tonight is all about making you feel safe and happy okay?”

“Bear...”

“If you want to stop or you're uncomfortable at any point just say so and we can stop Lenny but I promise to never hurt you like you never will me.”

Len looked Barry in the eye and could see the honest love there staring back at him. Letting go of the cold front he put up was hard and it scared him as it's what kept him and Lisa alive for so long. But here with Barry it was safe and intimate and full of love which was something he'd never experienced before. It scared him how quickly he ended up falling for him and he was still a little nervous every day that he'd come to his senses and realise he really was just a deadbeat crook and dump him at Iron Heights for the rest of his life.

“Barry....”

“Talk to me Lenny”

“I don't know if I even know how to be myself any more.... it’s been so long... I’ll admit I'm a little scared” he felt his cheeks go red slightly when he openly admitted to being afraid of something.

“Then we take things slow and do what feels right” Barry reassured slipping his shirt up over his head quickly followed by his own. Their lips met and it wasn't rough or impatient like it normally would be when they were about to have sex. It was soft and sweet and gave him butterflies as he leaned in to Barry's touch.

Barry undid both their flies and pushed their jeans to the floor where they were kicked to the side forgotten in an instant and broke the kiss to take Len by the hand again and lead him to the bed. “Lay with me?” he asked patting the side of the bed furthest from the door. Len hesitated unsure whether he was doing this. He felt safe with Barry and they had slept together hundreds of times but this just felt different and it scared him.

He shuffled quietly round the bed suddenly unsure of himself and feeling almost embarrassed but he lay down beside Barry so they were facing each other. Barry kissed him gently again “Are you still okay with this?” he asked. Len gulped but nodded. “Just say stop if it gets too much”.

They kissed again but this time with more heat as Barry's arm slipped round his waist pulling them closer so their growing erections brushed against each other through soft fabric. After a few minutes of making out Barry pulled away from the kiss and slid down peppering kisses along his chest, licking and sucking on each of his nipples making him gasp and lean into the touch. He stopped when he reached the waistband of his boxers and Len could feel Barry's warm breath through the fabric. He hooked two fingers under each side of the waistband and pulled them down discarding them over his shoulder leaving Len's throbbing erection standing to attention against his stomach.

Barry nipped at the sensitive skin along his inner thigh, biting hard enough to spark pleasure but not enough to cause pain. He moved up and up his thigh and his stomach till he reached the tip of his cock and he looked Len right in the eye as if to make sure he was still consenting and licked devilishly at the slit flicking his eyes up at Len teasingly. He sucked the tip into his mouth and swirled his tongue around licking up all the pre-cum savouring the salty taste on his tongue. Len moaned as Barry gripped his length in one hand and switched between sucking and fisting his cock using his speed to lightly vibrate his hand. “Fuck Bear. I'm going to cum if you keep going like this. Fuuuuuck” he moaned raising his hips off the bed and further into Barry's grasp. Barry just managed to wrap his lips around it and suck him all the way to the base before cum was shooting down his throat and Len had lost the ability to make any noise as he thrust in and out of the younger man's mouth riding out the waves of ecstasy.

After he settled Barry slid back up so they were laying facing each other again “How you feeling?”

“Heavenly” Len replied still riding his orgasm high.

“Do you want to stop now or go further? Entirely up to you” he asked

“I don't know Barry”

“what don't you know?”

“I feel a bit silly. I'm a grown man and I'm falling to pieces” he sighed

“Don't think like that! This is about doing what you want and what feels good for you. It could be anything and I would do it for you but I need you to be honest with me. And I'm not just talking sex wise I know you've been stressed lately and that Mick will be back in town soon but you don't have to hide behind Captain Cold to cope with it. I know you Leonard Snart and there is nothing gruff or cruel about you, you're a big softy that I love with all my heart and I will damn well make you believe it. Do you think I would be marrying you in a couple months if I didn't?”

Len thought for a few moments thinking over how he should reply because he wasn't sure. Barry could read right through him and he knew it so lying wouldn't work but the truth was hard to admit. “I'm scared Bear”

“I know baby but you don't have to be around me. Ever.”

“I'm scared of showing my weaknesses”

“We all are”

“But not everyone had a father who beat the shit out of you and whored you out for being a pansy did they? That didn't try his home-made versions of conversion therapy to try and make you like pussy instead of cock. That didn't stab to death the boy you fell in love with as a teenager when he caught you kissing in your room whilst he was out. That didn't make you clean up all the blood and dump the body afterwards otherwise he'd kill you too? That didn't scare you so much that the only way you could escape his grasp was by hiding behind someone bigger and stronger than you?” Len was crying as he confessed everything that had been stressing him out the closer and closer he got to the wedding. Barry had fallen completely silent as everything clicked into place. All the missing time in the stories Len told of his life suddenly made sense. It also explained his attachment to Mick no matter what.

“Lenny....I had no idea.... I’m so sorry that happened to you”

“It's okay. It's my own fault for being weak.” he sobbed finally letting all his barriers fall

“No Lenny! You didn't ask for any of that! Jesus wept.... the scars.... the round ones.... are they...”

“Electro shock therapy”

“Christ. How old where you when this all happened?”

“Fourteen till I met Mick at seventeen and he saved me.” Barry pulled the sobbing older man as close to him as he could trying to give him as much comfort as he could manage

“Lenny, you were just a child. Jesus....did Lisa know?”

“That I'm a fairy? Yeah, I think she knew but she didn't bring it up because she knew I didn't want to talk about it. The rest of it? No chance. How could I put that on her? She was only small and she worshipped our father”

“Have you ever spoken to anyone about it?”

“Mick”

“I meant like a therapist”

“Never”

“Because it would mean admitting I cleaned up a crime scene and dumped a body as would probably lead to people realising I killed my father”  
“Point. There must be someone professional you can talk to about it all though? That won't report you?”

“I don't want to talk it through with a shrink Bear”

“Then what do you want to do?”

“I want to be able to sleep at night without fearing I will end up hurting you like my father did me. I want a normal life but I don’t think I’m able to let myself have it.” He croaked. 

“You are nothing like your shit stain of a father baby. You are a good man with a beautiful soul who can have a normal life you’re already half way there now even down to the white picket fence.” Barry said trying to get at least a smile out of his crying lover. 

“I get you believe in me Bear I really do but I don’t think even your faith is enough to make me believe it just yet” 

“Then together we will work through it till you are able to move forward. We are a family now Lenny and family means no one gets left behind”

Len did laugh that time “Did you just quote Lilo and Stitch at me? Man, you spend too much time around Cisco” he belly laughed and cried at the same time as they lay together curled up in each other’s arms enjoying the comfort they sort from the others embrace. 

When the laughed died down and the tears had dried up Len lifted his head from Barry’s chest “I love you Barry Allen and I can’t wait to marry you and spend the rest of my life holding you every night and seeing you smile and laugh and enjoying life. I want us to get to know each other better than anyone ever could and have our bond be unbreakable. I want to give myself entirely to you as I truly am and have always been. I trust you” he still felt nervous as he said those final words but he knew they were true. Barry truly meant what he said about being safe to be himself around him and he knew the only way he was going to let go of the past and truly move on was if someone was there to both push him and catch him simultaneously. 

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Barry asked rubbing his back soothingly 

“No but if I don’t try now I don’t think I ever will be” 

“I will be by your side the entire way through this baby” Barry said kissing him sweetly before yawning loudly. 

“Let’s go to sleep Bear. Busy day ahead if the girls have really got their claws into the planning”

“Oh god don’t make me think about that now” 

Len laughed and kissed his fiancé back “Goodnight Bear, sweet dreams.” 

“Na night Lenny I love you” Barry yawned drifting off to sleep already.

Len slid further down the bed till he could comfortably wrap his arms around the smaller man “Goodnight my love”

~~  
“RAMON GIVE ME MY GOD DAMN BACK” Harry screeched hammering on the bathroom door which Cisco was currently taking refuge behind. 

“NO!” he yelled back laughing uncontrollably at Harry’s short temper “FINDERS KEEPERS LOSERS WEEPERS” 

“YOU DIDN’T FIND SHIT YOU STOLE IT FROM MY POCKET” he yelled through the door making Cisco laugh more. 

“Shouldn’t have talked shit about Doctor Who then should you! You haven’t even watched it so how can you call it garbage television?” 

Harry sighed and smacked his head against the door “This isn’t a game Cisco we’re going to be late to the lab now. You haven’t even got any shoes on yet. Just come out and I promise to watch that show with you sometime” 

“I don’t know…. How do I know you aren’t lying and will back out when I say let’s watch it?”

 

“Stop messing around Cisco we need to get to work” Harry grumbled through the door.

Cisco flicked Harry’s phone screen on and looked at the time. They were already pushing forty minutes late for work maybe he should unlock the door now? He gets an idea how they can both get to work and he can continue having a little fun on the way. He slips the phone down the front of his pants and unlocks the door. Harry was standing on the other side looking frazzled and still half asleep. 

“Phone. Now.” 

“Phone? What is phone?” he said wheeling past to get his shoes from the bedroom. 

“Don’t play dumb with me Cisco Ramon give me my phone back” 

“Oh, THAT phone! Well sure I can give it back if you do something for me first!”

“Ugh fine what do you want” 

“Put my shoes on for me?” he asked in his sweetest voice

“Your therapist said you have to learn to do that sort of thing for yourself”

“But it’s so haaaard and why should I when I can bribe someone to do it for me?” 

“You are a bad man Cisco Ramon. A very bad man.”

“You love it” 

“Fine give me your shoes” Cisco handed over his favourite high tops and Harry knelt in front of him untying the laces so he could slip them over his sock covered feet. “Was this even about that stupid show? Did you make us late just so I would put your shoes on for you?” he asked, fake glaring up at him. 

“Maybeeee”

“Why didn’t you just go ‘oh hey Harry can I get some help here?’ instead of stealing my phone and leading me on a wild goose chase to catch you?” he asked not buying his story for a second. 

“Where would be the fun in that?” he joked bopping him clumsily on the head. 

“Cisco…” he warned

“Ugh fine! My stupid hand didn’t want to work properly this morning and I don’t know why but I managed to get my socks on and then didn’t have any energy left for my shoes as it was starting to hurt. Happy now? Can we go to work now?” he asked sulkily 

Harry sighed and took Cisco’s hand in his stroking it soothingly “These things will crop up you know that Cisco. Never be afraid to admit you’re struggling okay? Come on let’s get you in and Caitlin can look at you and see why your hand is playing up.”

“I hate this” he mumbled looking away from Harry “I hate having to rely on other people just to do normal things” 

Harry sighed and raised his hand to cup Cisco’s face “It won’t be forever Cisco. Things will get better it will just be trial and error till they do”

“I know I just hate waiting and feeling stuck”

“I get it Cisco but think of it this way. You still have your marvellous brain that works like no other and whilst only at the start right now you have been learning to control your powers more which when refined will probably come in very useful in your day to day life if you learn to control where your vibrational waves go and what they do” 

“I don’t think that’s how my powers work…” 

“You don’t know until you try” 

“Maybe”

“Come on let’s get your coat and blanket and get going. You never know what a new day will bring” 

“Look at you suddenly being Mr Optimistic” Cisco teased following the older man to the front door. 

“Well I have something I know I can be optimistic about so why not? Also, can I have my phone back now” he asked holding out his hand to Cisco who blushed a deep red. 

“Erm… It’s hidden?” 

“Where?” Harry asked now crossing his arms and glaring at him. 

“In my pants” 

“Really Cisco??” 

“What?? It was basically teen me’s fantasy that a hot guy would reach into my pants to grab something hidden and end up grabbing the wrong thing…can’t blame a boy for trying” he shrugged 

Harry just turned around and smacked his head repeatedly on the door again “Why you? Why did I have to fall for you? Of all the men in the multiverse I fell for you?” he whined 

“Because of my hot ass and fabulous hair?” he suggested smirking and flicking his hair out behind him. 

“GET IN THE DAMN CAR RAMON” Harry shouted pointing at the front door and doing anything but look at him. 

“Aww no fun Harry. I’m only teasing” 

“That’s the problem” 

“Oh, would you prefer I be more forward Doctor Wells?” he asked tracing a hand across Harry’s front as he passed him out the door. 

“Not when we are about to go to work no. thank you Mr Ramon”

“Spoil sport”

“get in the car and stop being a brat. If we are any later Dr Snow will send Barry after us again”

“Good point” he secured his chair into the van and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself from the cold air “I hate the cold” 

“Well if you didn’t refuse to wear your other coat...”

“It itches!” 

“Then you can live with the blanket for now. If you want I can run back and get you another one? Have you got your gloves on?” Harry asked leaning over the back seat and rummaging through the bag of things they kept in the van for emergencies. He chucked a woollen hat at Cisco and a scarf which he quickly tied around himself. 

“Nah I think I will live until we get to the lab”

“Alright.” 

They took off at a slow pace due to the ice on the roads that even made Barry slow down slightly when he was running. Snow was piled high on either side of the road where it had been ploughed out the way in the early hours before the morning rush came. 

Sure, enough as Harry had predicted half way to the lab a flash appeared and Barry was sitting shotgun in the van. “Morning” he said brightly “Caitlin asked me to come check on you guys because you should’ve been in like over an hour ago or something and she was worried. Everything okay?” 

“You can tell Dr Snow that everything is fine and our delay was due to us being unable to find something. She has no reason to worry, if something were wrong you would’ve been alerted long before” 

Barry didn’t miss the mock glare Harry sent Cisco’s way or the smirk he got in return. “Okay…” 

“Hey Barry, can you do me a favour?” Cisco asked from the back seat.

“Sure? Anything?” 

“Go on ahead and turn the heating up at the lab I am fucking freezing my balls off here” he said shivering and pulling the blanket further around him. 

“Damn it Ramon I asked if you wanted another blanket” 

“Shhh too cold for yelling” he whined through chattering teeth 

“It will be toasty warm by the time you get their Cisco. See you in five” and Barry was gone as fast as he had appeared. 

Harry pulled the car over to the side of the road and pulled his own coat off turning around to wrap it round Cisco’s lower half “You don’t have to do that” Cisco stuttered

“I don’t lose body heat as fast as you do so I can cope without it. Can’t have you getting sick, can we?” he said half joking as he started the engine again. 

“Thank you, Harry”

“No problem”

“I know we don’t say it much but I love you. Like, I really love you” he said still stuttering slightly but not quite as much with the added warmth of Harry’s thick woollen coat. 

Harry locked eyes with him through the reflection “I love you to Cisco. More than anything” 

Cisco oddly felt slightly warmer hearing Harry say those words. Sure, they’d said it before but there was real meaning behind them this time that felt different than before. 

He could see the gate to the lab parking lot open ahead and a stern looking Caitlin was waiting by the entrance for them. “Maybe we should do some field work for the day?” Cisco suggested feeling slightly scared by her frosty glare “Or go to the moon or something?” 

“Your bed you lie in it” Harry said opening the door. 

“Traitor!” Cisco yelled after him unclipping his chair and wheeling himself out. Harry took hold of the back of his chair and switched the control to manual. 

“Keep warm till we get inside I’ve got this” 

“Thanks Harry” 

Harry wheeled him in through the doors and when Caitlin saw he wasn’t controlling the chair himself she didn’t look quite as annoyed. “Cisco what’s wrong?” she asked concerned

“Cold. Really fucking cold” he said feeling the blood rushing back to his face when the warm air of the lab hit it. Barry had kept his promise about getting the lab toasty before he got there. 

“Tell her about your wrist Cisco” Harry pushed gently 

“What about it? Cisco Ramon what have you done to yourself now?” she demanded through narrowed eyes.

“Nothing! I swear! It just won’t work this morning as well, it gets like that sometimes. Sometimes it will be fine other’s it will hurt a lot or I can’t grip right. It’s nothing” 

“I will decide if it’s nothing I’m the doctor here not you. Come on to my office with you” she said sheparding him onwards. As she was about to grab the handles of the chair from Harry, Barry flashed in behind her holding a large cup with steam pouring out the top. 

“Thought It might warm you up. Hot chocolate with cinnamon and marshmallows fresh from the café thirty seconds ago.” 

Cisco probably would’ve started drooling right then if he didn’t have at least a sliver of dignity left in him. He grasped the cup tightly in his hand and inhaled the sweet scent steaming through the lid. He blew on it a few times to make sure it was cool enough to drink and took a big sip and moaned shamelessly as the hot liquid trickled down his insides “That is amazing” he gasped after taking another big sip “Thanks Barry” 

“No problem” 

“Okay now you have your drink you can go get checked out come on Cisco” Caitlin said pushing him forward making Cisco jolt slightly. 

“Hey! Hey, stop that!” he demanded trying to jam the breaks on with his stump Caitlin jumped back startled “You can’t just grab me and push me around like a rag doll. I love you Cait but that’s not cool. You can’t force me to go somewhere just because you can control where and when I move. If I needed help getting there I would’ve asked for it and if you thought I needed some you should’ve asked if I wanted it. I don’t like people touching me at the best of times and I’m already having a bad day.” He was angry in general and knew he was taking it all out on Caitlin rather than just the anger she deserved but it felt good to let of steam. 

“Cisco I’m sorry!” she gasped, shocked at herself for not thinking about whether Cisco would be okay with it. 

“I really don’t care right now. I just want to go be alone. Thanks again Barry for the drink it helps a lot. Harry can you help me get to my lab? Like now? Please?” he almost begged. He needed to get away from there because he felt suffocated and almost violated by the situation. Harry didn’t say anything as he wheeled him out at a fast pace whilst Cisco drank the rest of his drink. 

When they got to the lab Cisco throw the cup in the trash and switched control back to himself and wheeled himself over the bed like sofa he had in the corner of his lab and tipped himself out and pulling himself into a ball under his nest of coats and blankets. He could feel Harry sit down on the edge across from him. “Do you want to talk about what just happened” 

“No”

“Caitlin didn’t mean any harm. She’s worried about you”

“I know she didn’t mean it but intent isn’t the point. I don’t like not having complete control over what people do with my body. Why can’t they just ask first?” 

“I didn’t ask this morning though?”

“It was different” 

“Why?” 

“I trust you and I knew what you were doing and why. You were taking me to the entrance because I was too cold to take my hand out from under my coat to use the control. Cait moved you out the way to make me go to the lab before I’d even warmed up yet. I already felt crappy” 

“You don’t trust Caitlin?”

“I do but it’s different?” 

“How?” 

“I don’t know. I guess I just feel this connection with you that goes beyond friendship and everything else. I just know you’d never hurt me” 

“And Caitlin would?”

“Not would but could. It’s just a think that’s always been in the back of my mind since the first few killer frost vibes. That is a potential future for her and I don’t know how close we are to them.” 

“So, this is all based on possibilities... You are aware there is just about the same possibility that an alien is going to appear right this second in front of us and start dancing the Macarena, right?” Cisco started laughing as he visualised the dancing alien. “See it doesn’t seem very, likely does it? Caitlin loves you Cisco and she wouldn’t hurt you.”

“I guess” 

“You going to make up with her?” 

“Not right now I’m still angry at her.” 

Harry lay back on the bed beside Cisco’s nest “You okay in there?” 

“Nope”

“You going to stay under that all day?” 

“Possibly” 

“Can I join you?” 

There was a long pause before Cisco replied “Yes” and opened the nest slightly so Harry could get the top part of his torso in alongside the smaller man. It was dark in there but there was enough light to see Cisco had been crying and pulling at his hair in frustration again as it was all tangled in his face. 

He smoothed as much of the hair down as he could and wiped the tears away that still left red streaks on his cheeks. “Crappy day huh?” he joked putting his arm comfortably around Cisco’s waist. 

“It’s just really hard sometimes. In here” he said tapping his skull “Things don’t make sense and get jumbled and I forget things and I get stressed which makes it worse and then my body decided it hates me even more today so that got piled on top plus the stupid voice in my head keeps reminding me how worthless and disgusting I am and I feel sick and I’m cold and I don’t like it Harry” Cisco broke down crying again and Harry held him letting him get it all out. 

“Why didn’t you talk to me before that it was getting to much? I would’ve helped you.” Harry asked feeling concerned that Cisco continued to bottle things up. 

“I didn’t want to worry anyone I’ve been enough bother”

“Never Cisco and I mean NEVER think you are too much bother for us. Especially not me of all people. I love you Cisco.”

“I’m sorry” 

“Don’t be. Look I know you don’t want this right now but it’s for the best that Caitlin checks you over because your hand being an ass may well be something incredibly simple and fixable that we didn’t pick up on before. Then we are going home because obviously this isn’t somewhere you need to be right now. The others can cope without you for now.” 

“But home is boring”

“We don’t literally have to stay home twenty-four hours seven days a week till you are ready we can go out and do things but I meant work probably isn’t the best place for you mentally or physically right now and that’s okay” 

“I’m tired” he whined snuggling closer against Harry’s chest 

“You can sleep soon but let’s get the check up over with first. Do you want me to talk to Caitlin beforehand or do you just want to get it over with?”

Get it over with but stay with me? Don’t leave me on my own?”

“I promise” 

“And can I keep your coat on till it’s time to go? It’s so comfy and warm” he said pulling it closer around his shoulders. 

“fine” he sighed pulling the nest off them both. “Come on get in your chair” 

Cisco glared and wiggled his way into his chair bringing half the blanket nest with him in a tangle. Harry pulled the ones trapped beneath him out and lay them across his lap and putting the ones still on the sofa bed around his shoulder. “Let’s get going then.” 

“If we must” Cisco sighed and reversed his chair and turned around narrowly missing Harry’s foot as he wheeled his way back to the cortex. When they got to the entrance Cisco stopped in his tracks peering in whilst Harry walked right past into the room. Barry was sat on the desk playing on his phone and Caitlin was busying herself in her lab trying to make it look like she wasn’t crying. He wheeled in a little further so Barry could see him. 

“Cisco!” Barry cheered bounding over to him “You okay man? Got me all worried for a second” 

“Yeah just panicked I guess? Needed to be alone for a bit” 

“I get that. Don’t worry about it.”

“Is Caitlin mad at me?” he asked slightly nervous

“Caitlin? Mad at you? Nah don’t be daft she couldn’t be mad at you if she tried. Upset yes but more at herself than at you but if you are okay she will be too. Go say hi she doesn’t bite” 

Cisco bit his lip watching Caitlin shuffle papers around “Maybe I should just get this checked at the hospital or something? Save from bothering her?” he suggested trying to back away only to wheel into Harry who stared him down. “Okay fine. Let’s do this” he grumbled. 

Barry skipped round him to hold the door open whilst he and Harry went passed before letting it swing shut behind himself. Caitlin stopped her shuffling and looked at Cisco with puffy red eyes that had washed away most of her make up. “Cisco… I… I’m really sorry.” She stuttered whilst fiddling with the button on her lab coat anxiously. 

“It’s fine Cait, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that it wasn’t fair. Now can we please, please get this over with because I really just want to go back to bed I’m so tired” he whined slumping a little in his chair to exaggerate his tiredness. 

“Sure. Let’s get you on the bed and scan you and see what’s going on” Caitlin said pulling the scanner out from its storage space in the corner. 

Cisco looked at hospital style bed he had spent way too much time on in the last year and sighed when he remembered he hadn’t fixed the remote so it was fixed at that height. “Little help here?” he asked turning to Harry and Barry who were chatting by the door. 

They stopped and looked between each other and back at him “Do you want fast help or normal help?” Barry asked pointing from himself to Harry. 

“Will fast help let me go to sleep faster?”

“Maybe by like half a second? At a push?” 

“Then sign me the fuck up” he said raising his arm up so Barry could get a better grip on him. Next thing he knows he’s lying flat on his back on the bed still covered in the blankets and Barry and his chair are back talking with Harry. 

Caitlin moved the scanner above him blocking his view of the pair “This will only take a second. Just stay still” she said still clearly wary of putting a foot wrong again. 

The machine made a few bleeps and bloops like it was trying to communicate with R2-D2 then fell silent and Caitlin pulled up the results on her tablet screen. Barry pushed the scanner out the way so he and Harry could look over Caitlin’s shoulder at the results. “It doesn’t appear to be anything serious that will show up on the scanner but I will of course run some more tests whilst you are away just to be sure. I think the most likely scenario is its just residual brain damage from … what happened… that your brain is just relearning to cope with hence why your arm gets tired quicker or aches because it’s one doing the work of two and relearning to function properly.” She explained turning the tablet round so he could see the perfectly normal looking scan minus the metal pins still in his arm the doctors thought best not to remove right away.

“Can I go home now? I feel… just … bad? My head hurts and I’m cold and tired.” 

“Just let me check your temperature” she put the machine in his ear and it beeped a result “huh. It’s normal. I figured you might’ve had the flu or something given your symptoms but it seems not.” She said shrugging “If there is nothing else you want to be checked or talk about then you can go home but remember to call us if you need anything and we mean anything.” 

“Don’t tell him that he’ll have you getting pizza for him at two AM because I told him no” 

“Hey that was one time!” 

“One time too many” 

“Dick”

“Jack Wagon” 

“Home now” he yawned loudly rubbing sleep dust from his eye “I’m really…”. 

“Did he just fall asleep?” Barry asked peering over at Cisco’s face. “Do we just leave him there?”

“No, we need to get him in his chair and home. He will panic if he wakes up on the hospital bed again and his days gone bad enough. Can you lift him into the chair without waking him or do we do it really slowly?” Harry asked lifting the blankets off the sleeping man so he could be easier moved. 

“I got this” Barry whispered and placed Cisco in his chair without even a jolt. 

“Right, now we wrap him up warm and get him back in the van” Harry said opening one of the blankets and wrapping it tightly around Cisco’s legs “He won’t god damn listen to me when I tell him not to get cold until it’s too late” 

Soon they had Cisco turned into a cocoon of blankets and coats and they had quietly managed to load him into the van. “Do you want me to run ahead so I can help when you get there?” Barry asked gently closing the van door. 

“No, I can handle this from here and the city probably needs the Flash by now so you get to work. I’ll text you updates on how he’s doing. I can’t say when he will be ready to come back though. It could be tomorrow it could be next year hell for all I can tell he may never be able to cope with coming back to this place long term.” 

“If he’s happy we will support any decision he makes” Barry promised holding out his hand to shake Harry’s “Look after him and yourself” 

“We’ll keep in contact. When Cisco is ready we can all meet up some place else and have a day out or something. I think Cisco would like to see Joe and Iris again as well and your Leonard as well.”

“We’d all love that. Don’t be a stranger you hear? And be serious when you say you will give updates because Caitlin will go out of her mind with worry otherwise.” 

“Noted. Goodbye for now Mr Allen”

“Goodbye Harry”

Harry jumped in the front seat and started the engine and gently took off back home watching the waving Barry and Star labs get smaller and smaller in the wing mirror. He wondered if they would ever go through those gates again. Then when it was out of sight he looked at Cisco’s sleeping face and realised he didn’t care if he was by his side. He also wondered when he had become such a sap. 

He pulled up to the front of the house and quickly ran inside to open the door and turn the heating on before getting Cisco out the can. It took a bit of work but he managed to unclip the chair and get it down the ramp and into the house without much bother. He didn’t turn any lights on whilst slowly moving through the house to the bedroom so as not to startle Cisco. The bedroom had warmed quickly so he was able to remove most of the blankets covering Cisco and slip his shoes off as well as his coat. He pulled back the covers leaving enough space to lay him down and gently picked him up off the chair and placed him gently on the bed. He gently undid his jeans and slid them off along with his socks leaving Cisco in his boxers and t-shirt and covered him with the duvet. He walked round the other side undressing to his boxers also and climbed in beside the softly snoring man he loved so much. 

“Sleep well my beautiful Cisco. Just rest knowing you are safe in my arms” he whispered into his wonderfully soft hair as he curled himself further around Harry seeking warmth and comfort. He took off his glasses and put them on the bed side cabinet and shut his eyes too. 

~~

He woke up to the sensation of shuffling in the bed beside him. He cracked one eye open and was greeted by the blurred vision of Cisco trying to scoot to the edge of the bed and reach his chair without being noticed. 

“Damn Ramon are you really that desperate for the loo? Why not just wake me?” he mumbled shoving his head back into his warm pillow. 

“It’s not that. It’s nothing just go back to sleep.” Cisco hissed stretching further to reach his chair whilst keeping his balance. 

“Then why are you trying to flee so fast? Talk to me Cisco. Was it another bad dream? Are you beating yourself up over something again?” 

“No!” Cisco almost shouting making a frustrated grab for the chair “oh come on!” 

“Then what?” 

“It doesn’t matter!” he yelled glaring over his shoulder with his cheeks blazing red.   
“If it’s bothering you then it matters to me so talk to me about it!” Harry insisted sitting up placing a hand on Cisco’s shoulder making him still. 

“It’s embarrassing” he whispered 

“Does it help if I promise not to laugh even if it’s funny?” he asked attempting to lighten the mood. 

“Not really” 

“Just spit it out Cisco. A problem shared is a problem halved” 

Cisco sighed and nervously lowered himself back into a supine position surrendering himself to the fact he wasn’t escaping his shame any time soon. 

The moment he was laid flat Harry could immediately see what Cisco’s ‘problem was’ “Ah” he says a little unsure of what to say. 

“Yeah, ah. I don’t know what happened and I’m sorry if I made things weird now but I did try and get to the bathroom till it went away” 

“Cisco what about I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you didn’t you understand? That statement kind of covers the whole morning wood scenario. It’s fine, really. With me at least it is. Are you okay?” he asked and Cisco blushed

“I had a dream… it started bad but then it got good… like… really, really good. And voila here we are” he said shrugging and looking rather ashamed of himself. 

“Tell me about it?” Harry asked turning on his side so they were both facing each other “Tell me what made this dream so good” he didn’t know where he was going with this but if Cisco was comfortable it could go as far as it liked. 

“Harry… I…” he blushed

“Don’t be embarrassed about it just tell me. Where was it set? Who was there?” 

“It was set here…” Harry’s interest suddenly peaked “And I was there and you were there and I was having a nightmare in my dream and you rescued me from it… then… then I kissed you as a thank you” he said blushing harder. 

“Is that where the dream ended Cisco?” he asked smirking when Cisco shook his head “What next?”

 

“I kissed you again and it felt… amazing… like a warm glow in the pit of my stomach …and … and you started touching me… everywhere” he said eyes closing as he remembered the dream

“Where did I touch you Cisco? Show me!” 

Cisco dragged his hand up his chest to where his nipples were “here” he said then lowered his hand further his breath becoming staggered the closer he got “and here” he gasped as his hand brushed over his cock. 

“Did you like it when I touched you there?” he asked half curious half hopeful 

“Yes” Cisco hissed as he pulled at his shirt trying to resist the urge to touch himself. 

“Would you like me to touch you there now?” 

Cisco paused for a second before nodding “Tell me more about this dream” he asked as he lazily cupped his hand around Cisco’s erection making him whimper. 

“You got some lube and you started… ugh… you started coating your finGERS” he moaned as Harry squeezed a little to see what reaction he would get. 

“Then what?” 

“You took it slow… so slow… it burned at first but then it started to feel good. You filled me up and I’ve never felt anything like it in my life it felt so good and you held me in your arms as I begged for more” Cisco exclaimed as Harry freed him from his briefs. 

“Is that what you want Cisco? For me to make you scream and cum on my dick? To make you beg to be filled?” he asked as he stroked the smaller man’s shaft in his palm. 

“I... I…I don’t…Know” he gasped as pre-cum started making Harry’s hand feel slick on his cock “Yes! Yes, I want it please!” he begged as Harry picked up the rhythm on his strokes and Cisco could feel his orgasm building deep in his belly just like in his dream. He screamed as Harry gave one more furious tug and he came all over his thighs and the bed sheets “Fuck” he moaned as he came down from his orgasm. “Why did I wait so long to do that?” he asked the emptiness in the room. 

He curled closer to Harry and he could feel Harry’s own erection pressing firmly into his side and he felt the urge to reach out and touch it but something held him back. “Cisco? What you said? Are you sure you’re ready for that? There is no rush to go further if you want to wait.” 

“No… I’ve wanted this for a while …I just didn’t know how to ask for it…” he said cheeks flushing again. 

“Well I’d say the best method would be coming up to me and going “Harry let’s fuck” but I suppose wet dream induced morning wood works as well” he teased 

“You are the worst” 

“No barriers remember. You can say what you like to me and I will do the same to you. Fair is fair” 

 

“Oh, shut up” Cisco grunted as he pulled Harry down to kiss him till they had to go up for air again. “Can we? Try something?” he asked shyly. 

“At your pace” 

“Do you have lube?” he asked cheeks flushing further when Harry got the picture and turned around to pull a tube from the drawer. “Can we? Can you?”

“Can I what Cisco? Tell me what you need”

“Make me feel good. Make me beg for more like in the dream” 

Harry was finding it harder and harder to resist those flushed cheeks, plump lips and dark eyes but he had to take care of him first. “Cisco, I have to warn you that this may trigger flashbacks of your past you don’t want to re live. We can stop now or if you really want to continue we can stop the second you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable or afraid. I know it isn’t a nice thing to think about but I need you to be certain it’s what you want because I could never forgive myself if I hurt you” 

Cisco had gone pale and found his mouth suddenly dry at the thought of flashbacks but he shook them out of his brain. He wasn’t going to let that bastard that ruined most of his life ruin something so special with the man he loves. “I want this Harry. I don’t think I could feel safe with anyone else. Just don’t let me go okay?” 

“Never. Not for a second” he promised as he helped Cisco roll to face the other way so Harry had better access to his body. He flicked the cap off the bottle and squeezed a good amount on his fingers making sure they were suitably coated “this is going to feel cold” he warned “And very strange at first but it gets better I can promise you” 

Keeping one hand firmly wrapped around Cisco he inserted a finger into his tight entrance. The muscle tensed and squeezed around his finger and Cisco let out a little whimper “Are you okay? Say stop if you want me to.” 

“I’m fine it’s just weird” he whispered. Harry kissed down his neck feeling the younger man shiver at his touch. When he started to relax around his finger he slowly began to move it around letting him adjust to the sensation before inserting another finger alongside the first. 

This time he tensed a lot more and gripped tightly on to Harry’s arm “hurts” he whispered. 

Harry didn’t move just let him relax “It will feel good soon sweetheart just take deep breaths” he could hear Cisco audibly inhaling and exhaling making himself unclench around his fingers. “That’s right. We are going to take this nice and slow okay?” he whispered into his hear as he started to twist his fingers around inside him and scissor them to open him up. “It gets easier over time, enjoyable even.” He promised “You’ve just got to find the right…” he couldn’t finish that sentence as Cisco cried out when his fingers brushed against the knot of muscle within him. 

“what was that?” he demanded “can you do it again?” Harry readjusted his position and went in for another strike this time hitting his prostate fully make Cisco scream and turn to jelly in his arms. “Oh god. More… please…” he begged. 

Harry inserted a third finger with a lot more ease than he expected but it made him relax knowing Cisco was enjoying himself and was comfortable in the situation. He pushed forward brushing his prostate again and he could see Cisco’s erection growing again and he felt a pang of jealousy at the younger man’s recovery period being so short. 

Cisco moaned and hummed as he tried to fuck himself on Harry’s fingers. He had never felt anything like it in his life and it was amazing. He could feel Harry’s gaze scanning his body and for the first time in his life he felt sexy and wanted and it excited him. He wanted more, no he needed more or he felt like he was going to explode. “I’m ready” he gasped as his prostate was brushed again “oh please god am I ready.” 

Harry stopped fingering him but stayed inside “are you sure?” he asked and Cisco could scream if he didn’t hurry up and fuck him already. 

“Yes, I am god damn sure I want your cock in my ass right the fuck now or so helps me I will scream” he said trying to push back against his hand but Harry stopped him. 

 

“Alright.” He said simply removing his hand from within him and suddenly he felt so empty and it was awful. He was just about ready to beg when he heard Harry pop the cap on the lube again and felt him shift to remove his own boxers freeing his erection which he lubed up thoroughly. “If you’re sure”

“Just hold me okay? Like in the dream? I need to feel it’s you there not… not him” 

“Always Francisco, always” He pressed the tip against his entrance and felt a little resistance “You need to relax for me baby or this isn’t going to work” he said softly running his hands across Cisco’s body feeling every inch of him. “God you’re beautiful. Like a work of art” he thought out loud as he felt the ring of muscle relax giving him entrance. “You drive me mad Cisco with your lips. They’re always so plump and inviting. The amount of dreams I’ve had involving that mouth of yours… your oral fixation doesn’t help matters especially not when we are trying to get work done. You’ve always got to be sucking on something” he groaned as he pushed in inch by inch as Cisco gave way around him. “and that ass of yours? Boy do you know how to fill out pants. It’s like a ripe peach I don’t know how you ever managed to get your vibe trousers on. It drove me wild” Cisco moaned as he bottomed out pressed firmly against his prostate making Cisco breath heavily trying to keep himself under control. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he gasped leaning back into his chest. 

“I thought you’d run a mile. What chance did an old man like me have with a beautiful man like yourself?”

“A huge chance it seems. Oh god Harry move please” he moaned frustrated as he tried to rock himself further down on his cock. 

He pulled out keeping a close watch on Cisco’s face for signs of pain or discomfort and pushed back in again making Cisco throw his head back in pleasure and growl deep in his throat. The growl seemed to resonate through him and straight to his dick making him push back in a little harder this time making sure his aim was perfect for the sweet spot inside. He couldn’t figure out what felt better. The noises Cisco was making, the faces he pulled or the feeling of his cock buried deep inside him. 

It wasn’t the easiest angle to work with but given Cisco’s circumstances it was the easiest for now. After all this was over and they were cleaned up he would have to think up some ideas of practical ways for other positions that were both comfortable and easily stored away. 

“HARRY!” Cisco screamed arching his back “Oh god Harry fuck. Harder please. Harder” who was he to deny such a request? He thrust back into his tight entrance enjoying the warm tight feeling that engulfed his cock. He made sure Cisco was entirely impaled on his cock before pulling out and doing it over again and again which only served to make Cisco beg for more. 

He reached his free hand over and wrapped it around Cisco’s cum and pre-cum soaked erection and timed his strokes with his thrusts making tears pour from Cisco’s eyes as he unravelled on his cock.   
“Harry… I’m going to cum…oh oh” he moaned as he neared climax 

“That’s it baby. Come for me. Come with my cock buried deep inside you” he whispered into his ear and Cisco moaned louder and came with a shout and fucked himself on his cock as he rode out his orgasm. Harry could feel his own orgasm building in his gut and he picked up his thrusts feeling Cisco moan and whimper at the over stimulation as he came down from his high. “So beautiful Cisco. You make the prettiest noises when you come” he said as he thrust in a final time groaning loudly as he spilled his load inside Cisco. 

He pulled out and they lay curled in a sticky sweaty mess in each other’s arms for a few moments “Cisco?” Harry asked voice rough “You okay?” 

“You have called a Cisco who is not in use. Please hang up and try again” he said with his face buried in a pillow. 

“Funny but really are you okay? No flashbacks? No pain?” he asked seriously 

“It was amazing and just like my dream but now I’m sore all over and my head is messing with me” he whined pulling another pillow on top of his head. 

“I’ll go get a wash cloth and we can dress and change the sheets then you and me can talk over dinner? Would you like some of your meds for the soreness?” 

“Not yet” he said voice muffled by the pillows

“Don’t wait until the pains really bad before you take them remember that. Now come on time to get cleaned up. Can you sit up right on the bed? Or do you want a bath?” he offered 

“Bath means effort and movement. Cisco has no effort and movement” Cisco whined as Harry helped him adjust the pillows so he could sit up. 

“Well I will be right back then”

Harry wondered out the room and Cisco could hear the tap running. Everything about what just happened had been incredible. He’d honestly never believed he was ever going to be ready to have sex with his consent but his dreams had decided otherwise with endless nights filled with different variations of Harry fucking him into oblivion. It felt amazing to know what it could feel like with someone he loved and loved and respected him in return. 

The niggling voice of his brother was there the whole time though. Whispering things in his ear, reminding him of the past. 

_“You’re mine hermanito. You can’t ever escape me. You are my little slut and no matter who else uses you as their fuck toy your ass will always belong to me”_

Cisco tried to cover his ears and block out the voice but it was useless when it was his own brain playing tricks on him. He tried to concentrate on something else like running through times tables over and over in his head but all it did was dampen the noise. “Just leave me alone, please” he begged pressing the pillow further down on his head “Just let me enjoy this. Just give me one thing”

He could feel his chest getting tighter as the whispering continued in his head telling him he was a slut and a whore. He wasn’t any of those things and he knew it but it didn’t stop the trauma inflicted on his psych by his brother’s actions from trying to convince him otherwise and no matter how much he disbelieved it the mental pain it caused him didn’t cease. 

He heard the tap stop running meaning Harry was on his way back. He listened for his approaching footsteps waiting to feel his presence in the room. It helped having Harry around to keep the voices at bay because he always knew what to say to calm him down. 

His chest was still feeling tight when he felt the bed compress beside him and a damp cloth was pressed against the skin of his stomach. “You going to come out from under that pillow hat you’ve got going on? I may not be very up to date but I’m pretty sure it’s not in fashion nowadays” Harry said wiping the cloth gently across his stomach cleaning the mixture of sweat and cum off his skin. 

Cisco let the pillow slip down from his head but he still hugged it to his chest needing the security he felt from it. “Do you think I’ll ever be normal?” he asked curiously. 

“You’ve never been normal in your life Ramon” Harry said dryly as he moved to clean his thighs now. 

“I meant like, mentally?” he clarified

“Still not you Cisco”

 

“Harry I’m being serious! Do you think I will ever get his voice out my head? Will he ever leave me alone?”

“oh” he said stopping his swipes to look at him “Cisco I can’t predict something like that. God, I hope it doesn’t stay with you and I will help you in any way you need in your recovery to move on from it but whilst I can do many things fix someone’s PTSD isn’t one of them. I’m sorry”

“No, I know that but I just don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life. To panic for no good reason or break down because I can hear his voice in my ear again whispering away or I get flashbacks of when he… what he did to me. I want to enjoy life and love undisturbed by my own craziness.” 

“Okay first off you aren’t crazy. Second you can learn to enjoy life whether you are better or not. It may take time but that’s what we are going to be working on as of now. We have a field assignment for the team.” 

Cisco raised an eyebrow at him “And what would that be?” 

“To get you back on the right track to recovery wherever that path may lead. There is no deadline and we go at your pace but it’s to help you learn to love life again and to feel safe in society.” Harry explained “If you choose to go back to star labs then we go back together and if you choose to go somewhere else then I will stay right by your side” 

“I can’t take you away from your work. You love it so much.” 

“I love you more than any machine I could build” he promised leaning in to kiss him. 

“Mphh when did I get so lucky?” he asked 

“You got lucky about thirty minutes ago” Harry said turning back to cleaning them both off. 

“Oh god shut up” Cisco whined hitting him with the pillow repeatedly “Lame ass” 

“Come on. Let’s get some clothes on you and get dinner then you can show me this Doctor Who you always mention.” 

“Wait really?” Cisco perked up “You’ll watch it with me?” 

“On one condition. That tomorrow we go out into the city for minimum an hour to a location of your choosing and we spend some time around other people and crowds. If it gets too much then we can stop or take a break but it’s step one on the agenda.” 

 

“I think I can agree to that. Now let’s eat as I’m starving and definitely not above cannibalism” 

“Demanding shit. Here put your shirt on” 

~~

They managed to get through half the first season of new who last night over dinner cuddling on the sofa. Now they were waiting at the front door looking out at the snow-covered path as Cisco both got up the courage to move forward and chose a destination. 

“It’s going to go fine sweetheart. Just pick somewhere you know for the first trip. What about that café Iris used to work at?” 

“No, not there. Too crowded in a small space and people know me there and will ask questions I don’t want to answer” 

“Okay what about the park?” 

“It would probably be too bogged down with snow to get my chair around this time of year” 

 

“Visit Joe at CCPD? I’m sure he’d love to see you as would Captain Singh” 

“Too loud for day one. What about going to harass Len? Might get some free cakes out of it?” 

“Is this because you actually want to see your best friend’s fiancé or because you want unlimited free food?” Harry asked mock glaring at him with folded arms and tapping foot.

“Why not both?”

“Then your wish is my command. Let’s go” 

Feeling confident they now had a plan in mind Cisco didn’t feel so uneasy going out. He knew Len and he knew his shop so it was a safe place but there would also be people there he didn’t know so it ticked a lot of the boxes Harry had set out. The drive to the mall was peaceful as he watched the world go by out the window. He’d always found that the city looked enchanted when covered in snow. Everything glistened and shone like in the fairy-tales he read as a kid. It also got him excited because snow meant winter and winter meant Christmas was fast approaching. If there was anything he loved as much as Halloween it was Christmas. He loved the music and the ugly Christmas sweaters and the silly reindeer antlers and Santa hats. He loved the traditions it brought like Christmas cards and sharing presents with friends and hanging a stocking above the fire with your name on it. The smell of Christmas spices and roasted chestnuts being cooked in an upturned oil drum in the street. Searching Christmas markets for the perfect gifts to give to everyone and the cute custom decorations that could be made. He loved putting a tree up even in his old tiny ass apartment so that it took up half the space and he would cover it in every decoration he could get his hands on and hang tinsel and lights around the walls and surfaces. It also meant no one could judge him for watching The Muppets Christmas Carol on repeat till spring came around and he could swap it for their own rendition of Treasure Island. 

This year was even more exciting because he wouldn’t be spending it alone. He’d have Harry there with him to celebrate with him. Truth was even though he loved every aspect of Christmas being on your own on the day itself felt rather lonely. Everyone else had family to get back to before and Harry used to rather be working than thinking about holidays but this year was different. And maybe just maybe if he was ready the others could come around too for a pre-Christmas Christmas dinner. 

Yes, this was going to be his best Christmas yet. Even better than his first Christmas after starting at Star Labs and he saved up enough to get himself a custom light saber which he proudly displayed on its stand in the front room to this day. 

He jolted to the side a little as Harry turned to head up the ramp to the parking lot of the mall. It wasn’t the busiest he’d seen it but it wasn’t empty either. It took a few floors before they found an empty spot that was also a disabled bay. He unclipped his chair and waited for Harry to open the door so he could get out so he could lock the van up. “You ready?” 

“yep” he said rubbing his gloved hand on his folded sleeve to warm it up “I can practically smell the cookies from here”. 

“I swear I don’t know where you put it all. You eat so much crap and stay pint sized” Harry huffed “Do you want to be pushed or you going to control it yourself?” 

“Push till we’re inside at least? I think I might convince myself to run away if I do it” 

“You’re stronger than that Cisco and I know you don’t back down without a fight it’s what gets you and your smart mouth in so much trouble so often” 

“And here I was thinking you liked my mouth” he drawled earning a light slap on the shoulder as they passed a scandalised looking elder lady who had overheard them. 

“Perhaps don’t traumatise the old folk… Don’t think she’s seen much action in years she probably can’t cope with the thought of two men going at it” he joked 

“Why Harrison Wells did you just throw shade at that dear old lady? Are you trying to steal Latrice Royale’s job?” Cisco mocked whilst practically choking on giggles. 

“I don’t know what that means but whatever it is it probably isn’t a good thing so I’m just going to ignore you” he huffed pushing him towards the elevator. 

“Oh man you’ve never seen Drag Race, have you? Oh wow, you have a whole lot of Earth-1 queer culture to catch up on”  
The door pinged and opened letting them slide in alongside a mother and her young child who stared with wide eyes at Cisco. 

“Mommy” the boy said tugging on his mother’s shirt “Mommy that man is like me!” he almost cheered. His mother tried to shush him and apologised for his behaviour. 

“Hey now it’s alright. What’s your name little man?” Cisco said to the boy now peeking out from behind his mother after being told off. 

“Matthew” he said in a quiet voice stepping out a little bit. 

“Nice to meet your Matthew. My name’s Cisco and this is Harry” he said pointing to the older man who waved uncomfortably. “Are you going for a day out?” 

“We just came back from the hospical!” he said and Cisco’s heart melted at how the young boy pronounced hospital. 

“Oh, wow. Are you a doctor then?” Cisco asked playing along with the kid which made the mother smile gratefully. 

The boy laughed and jumped up and down “No! Silly! I was getting a new arm because my old one didn’t fit anymore! Mommy say’s I’m a big boy now so I need a big boy arm for when I start school next year!” he said pulling back his sleeve and Cisco realised what the boy had meant before about being like him. 

“Oh cool! Dude! You have a magical arm?? I don’t have one of those! You must be really special to get one for yourself!” he said smiling as the boy proudly showed off his new prosthetic that he had slight control of grip with.

The boy grinned and reached out to high five Cisco’s stump with it which he accepted gladly “I can even pick fings up wiv it!” he cheered and demonstrated by putting his car toy on Cisco’s knee then picking it up again, waving it around happily making car noises with his mouth. 

“That’s amazing! It’s just like magic! You are going to make so many friends at school with a cool arm like that!” The lift pinged as they reached the ground floor and the boy shot out of the door yelling “Bye Mr Cisco” over his shoulder as his mom chased after him.

Harry stepped out beside him “I never took you as someone who liked kids” 

“I don’t care about kids either way but it doesn’t hurt to be nice to them and he was just so excited to see someone else with a missing limb. Did you see his face?” he gushed watching the boy try and evade his mother’s arms in the distance. 

“I think you made his day and his mother certainly seemed relieved by his reaction. She was probably worried about how he’d get on at school” 

Cisco smiled and leaned his head against Harry’s side “I think he will be just fine. Now come on! Cake awaits me!” 

They turned the corner and followed the scent of baked goods that got stronger and stronger the nearer they got. The shop was right near the street entrance to the mall meaning it was one of the first and last things customers saw before leaving the mall which was good for business given how many people were in there already. 

They watched in the window as Len ran back and forth filling orders and handing them to customers who took the packages hungrily. Kid’s never even got outside the shop before they opened their treat and began eating it.

When the rush died down enough he could get inside Len spotted them right away. 

“Cisco! Harry! Didn’t expect to see you two in here. How are you?” he asked handing a box of cream donuts to a man in a smart suit carrying a briefcase. 

“Could be better but I needed to get away from the lab for a bit so Harry is helping me. He suggested going out somewhere for a bit today and I picked here because its familiar and everything tastes amazing” he said eyeing up some of the cakes on display. 

“Well it’s lovely to see you both. Go on through to the office and I’ll bring you something through in a minute. Wally is due on shift any minute now. I don’t know how someone who can run that fast can always manage to be late.” He said flipping the counter gate up for Cisco to pass through and Harry to duck under. “Help yourself to anything to drink theirs a fridge in the corner with some cans in if you want something cold” 

Inside the office the first thing he noticed was how oddly tidy it was for somewhere that Barry must visit frequently. He’d thought he was messy until Barry had stayed with him for a few days and his whole apartment became a pig sty. He also clocked the photo framed on his desk of what must’ve been a surprise selfie Barry took of them smiling at each other happily. 

“You want a hot drink or a cold drink?” Harry asked from across the room. He looked up from the photo to see the drink selection. 

“Is there hot chocolate?” 

“Barry lives on two things if you let him. Coffee and hot chocolate so yes we have that” a voice said from behind. Len stepped into the room holding a plate of cakes in one hand and biscuits in the other. “Wally’s lazy ass finally showed up. Reckons he had kid flash business to attend to but Barry says he was chatting up some girl at school so I’ve let him off the hook this one time.” He said putting the treat selection down on his desk so Cisco could take his pick. “So, what brings you two too my gaff?” he asked gazing warmly as Cisco moaned in enjoyment as he bit into a flash biscuit and crumbs fell all down his front. 

“Didn’t want to go anywhere I didn’t know but also didn’t want to go anywhere loud or scary. Your food also helped the decision making” 

“Well it’s certainly nice to know my baking is appreciated and you know you are always welcome here. You missed Barry by about twenty minutes I’m sure he’d have loved to have seen you too. He explained briefly about yesterday and he’s being his usual self and worrying about you whilst also knowing you are going to kick whatever problems you are having right up its arse.”

 

“Tell him soon. I need to get my head around a few things first but I will see him and Caitlin soon. I was thinking… I know it’s a couple weeks away yet and most people probably have plans already in place but… if it’s okay with Harry and people were free that maybe we could have a little Christmas get together at ours Christmas eve? Exchange gifts and things? Play games and sing songs?” 

Harry seemed more than a little taken aback by the suggestion “Is that what you want Cisco? There will be a lot of people and it would be loud and crowded.” 

“I love Christmas. Like I really love Christmas and everything about it. I’ve never really had a family Christmas before and you guys are all my true family and I want to spend it with you. If it gets too much I can just go lie down for a bit but I think it will be okay because I’m actually kind of excited by the idea?” he explained. 

Len grinned and clapped as he stood up “Me and Barry would love to come. We can bring the Christmas cake and pudding if you like? Do it properly like it’s the day itself? Probably a bottle or two as well. Cisco can you drink now?” 

Cisco high fived Len “Yeah! And no, I can’t drink in case I need my meds and because it messes with my already screwed motor function and feels horrible but I am more than happy with non-alcoholic snowballs” 

“That’s settled then. Christmas Eve at your place. If you want to tell the others before Barry does I’d get in quick you know what he can be like when he gets excited about something.” 

“I’ll send a text or something tonight. I’m guessing from the look on his face Harry wants to discuss a few things first.” He said making Len look at Harry sat quietly opposite them. 

“I’m more than willing to celebrate Christmas with everyone I just don’t want you to push yourself too far too soon and end up back at the start.” He explained cautiously 

“I won’t I promise. Look if things get to much then I can just say and we can cancel alright? No one would be offended if I called it off last minute, would they? Len, you wouldn’t mind, would you?” 

“Nope. Your house your rules” 

“See?” 

Harry sighed “Fine we can have the damn party but don’t even think of sneaking a sip of alcohol. I’m not dealing with you barely having control of your movements or speech again. God knows what you’d end up saying” 

“Aww his Harry feeling a bit paranoid I might spill his secrets?” Cisco teased and Len tried to cover his laugh with a cough. 

“Bastard” 

“Now that is no way to talk to your boyfriend!” Cisco said mock offended. 

Len looked between them “So it’s like official now? You guys are together? That’s great! I’m happy for you both!” 

Harry raised an eyebrow and Cisco looked confused “We’ve been together since I went home…”

“Wait, really? Man, we were all way off” Len groaned 

“Did you guys have a betting pool on us?” he demanded. 

“In my defence, it was Barry’s idea…” Len said holding his hands up in surrender. 

“Damn it…Did we at least get good odds?” 

“Odds were in your favour for getting together within a year which I guess in a way you did but the pool wasn’t set up till after you were already together so no one wins.” 

“I think you mean we win. We beat you all by beating your pool.” Harry said leaning over Cisco to grab a cake off the desk. “I think that’s deserving of a forfeit don’t you Cisco?”

Cisco grinned evilly at Len “Oh yes indeed. I wonder what that could be…” 

Len looked alarmed between the pair “I think we should save the lovely surprise for when they come around at Christmas don’t you? Something extra to look forward to…”

“Damn it. Why did I open my mouth to begin with?” Len asked himself. 

“On a subject change. How’s the wedding planning coming along?” Harry asked 

“Well we managed to fend off the girl’s insistences on changing certain things when we relented on their bridesmaid gowns. Everything else seems to be in order or on order and ready to go when the time comes. Just speeches to be written now. Oh! that reminds me, Cisco Joe asked me and Barry, whichever saw your next to tell you he has some brilliant stories you might like for your speech and to just give him a shout when you want them.” 

“Oh, shit the best man’s speech… I forgot all about that. I will get on it right away.” Cisco said whilst munching on his fifth or sixth biscuit. 

“You still planning on having the ceremony in the labs?” Harry asked 

“Yeah it just feels right to have it there. We all have some kind of connection to that place and no matter what it is it all lead us to where we are now and for that I will always be grateful. Just got to sort out a minister of some kind now. Bit hard when a superhero is marrying a former super villain to find someone who definitely won’t recognise one of us.” 

“Why not skip the minister and just say your vows to each other? You’d already have the marriage license so it would all be legally binding.” 

“I’d have to talk to Barry about it but that’s probably a good idea actually. Would make it more intimate too.” 

The door opened and Wally rushed in “Len we need more truffle doughnuts and… oh Hey Cisco! Hey Harry! Len, we are running low on a couple of things and it’s getting crazy hectic out there and unless I speed through it all I can’t get it done alone.” He said clearly looking stressed out already. 

“I’ll be right there” and Wally was gone again “Well seems our chat has been cut short unfortunately but business calls. Stay as long as you want if you want to wait for the crowd to die down or you can head out when you’re finished eating. Entirely up to you.” He gave Cisco a friendly hug and nodded at Harry and left the office. 

“So, a party?” Harry said after a minute “That was a surprise”

“I think I surprised myself but I thought about it on the drive earlier when I was watching all the snow-covered things. I want something to look forward to and I’ve never had a proper Christmas because when I was a kid my parents only cared for Dante so he got all the presents and attention and I was left with Dante’s broken toys from the year before. When I left I didn’t have any friends to spend Christmas with and your evil clone was not the festive sort that’s for certain but now there is nothing stopping me from having a proper family Christmas with the first real family I’ve ever had.” 

“If it’s a proper Christmas you want then it’s a proper Christmas you’ll get. Do they do the little petting zoos with reindeer in here like on my earth? I always loved those creatures. That and penguins though I’m not entirely sure what that has to do with Christmas other than living on snow and ice?” Harry thought out loud to himself. “And Ice skating! Oh, I loved doing that. I was terrible at it. Completely awful and spent most of the time laying on the ice but it was so much fun” 

Harry continued his chatting about his love of Christmas as they left the shop. Len handed them a box of cakes to take home as they went. Harry started comparing the differences between Christmas celebrations on his earth and this one and spoke about why he preferred one tradition over the other. Cisco could feel the warm happy feeling starting to flicker back to life inside him that hadn’t been there for a long time. It wasn’t a blazing fire just yet but with the way things were progressing and with Harry at his side he almost was looking forward to the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone whose read I noticed that I get a huge amount of reads off the beautiful coldflash fandom and I would like to say helloooo <3 and thank you for sucking me in to the ship with Wentworths adorable face. 
> 
> Coldflash and Harrisco fans alike I would simply LOVE to get comments from you both perhaps you have thoughts and theories on what may happen next? 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


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